gratitude

Let's get real shall we.  The last few weeks in my life have been a little weird.  I knew this month would be excessively busy, stressful and come on the back of an excessively stressful, busy and physically hard travel period.  My body isn't in the best of physical conditions in the first place.  So I decided that that was a great time to start a diet.  No, go ahead and laugh, cause it's funny.  Other things have been taking up my mind so I haven't been talking about it but I have been keeping up.  I also decided I would restart my attempt to journal/blog.  I've never been a journaler.  Mostly I'm a doom and gloom writer when it comes to my personal chronicle and I recognize that as counter productive.   I also recognize that I'm an actress and there is a certain sense of performance when I present my life on this kind of stage.  While I've tried to add a little humor here and there I really haven't tried to sugar coat anything.  I'm a blunt person by nature and I don't pull punches about my own failings....especially about my own failings.
Stress breeds talk though and I haven't stopped finding things to say.  But this all started because I was supposed to be holding myself accountable about my diet.  Yeah, I bet you didn't even remember that any more, did you?  So let as I am wrapping up the murder mystery thing and a weight lifts off my chest there, lets turn back to the weight lifting off other places.
It's been two weeks and I've lost 6 pounds.  I haven't been able to get to the gym regularly.  We have gone a couple times but the stress and our super full schedule hasn't really made for targeted hot chick gym time.  Plus my body isn't ready for that even if my brain was, which is wasn't.  We've been good about the diet but I've been struggling.  As stress and the internet show you pictures of chocolate chip pumpkin bread (curse you ambitious kitchen) I just want something yummy.  Not that I haven't made yummy meals...but I want yummy pumpkin muffin yummy.  Okay, no more thinking about the yummy.
So after all the crazy inducing medicine, and the tear inducing stress and the sad inducing yummy desires and the  tunnel vision from friends who are going through very similar troubles right now (sorry friends, I promise to lick your face) and the mind bending information I have to hold in my head and the schedule and ..and...and  and I am so very grateful.  I'm exhausted and hurting and still a little crazy but I am overwhelmed by gratitude today.  It's probably the medicine messing with my brain chemistry again but I'll take gratitude over raving any day of the week.

In other news my zombie cat, Cinder has been feeling better.  Every time I enter the quarantine zone she follows me around and I can tell it's not because she wants to eat my brain.  I think she's a little lonely being there all  by herself.  I think the zombie infection cure is working.  Still gross...Just reminds me of the world premier of Znation and that creeptastic zombie baby *shudder*