Friday, June 29, 2018

Comparison - Is it always bad?

Last week we talked about comparison as a tool that can be used for both negative and positive thought but I've been seeing a lot of talk about comparison lately that clearly believes comparison is always a bad thing. Is it?

Maybe it's the word "comparison" that has gotten a bad reputation over the years.  The english language is complicated and english speakers tend to assign nuance that was never part of the definition of the word.  We see the negative extreme that human beings go to with comparison and we, perhaps rightly, assume comparison is bad.

So if the word "comparison" gives you pause, let's try some different words.  Assesment, watchfulness, reasonableness, imitation. That word sounds familiar does it.  We are to be imitators of Christ.  


Ephesians 5:1-2 English Standard Version (ESV)
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  

Children emulate their parents or guardians and even adults continue to pick up manerisms from the people they spend time with.  Good or bad, comparision is something that we all do.  I still honestly believe that the foundation of dealing with comparision is recognizing God in your "dull" moments.  Those places that feel lacking when negatively comparing yourself to someone else won't feel lacking when you suddenly see how full of God those moments are.

The real question we should be asking ourselves is whether or not the comparison you are making is imitation of a good standard or envious longing.  So, let's talk about how to assess whether your comparisons are healthy or harmful.


Who are you comparing yourself too?


Galatians 1:10 English Standard Version (ESV)

10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant[a] of Christ.


2 Corinthians 10:12 English Standard Version (ESV)
12 Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.
We often read verses like the ones above and nod our heads; yup, don't compare yourselves to others, got it.  Comparison = bad
But...

1 Corinthians 4:15-17 English Standard Version (ESV)
15 For though you have countless[a] guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. 16 I urge you, then, be imitators of me. 17 That is why I sent[b]you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ,[c] as I teach them everywhere in every church.

1 Corinthians 11:1-2 English Standard Version (ESV)
11 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
Paul himself encouraged the church to be like him.    So what's does Paul mean?  It sounds like he's saying "be like me, but nobody else".  Not quite.  Notice who he tells us not to compare ourselves too.  Braggarts, or in other words, people who think they're awesome.  People who are trying to look good to other people.  

As he says in 1 Cor 4:15, we have many guides.  While it's true it's best to imitate Christ there are cultural bumps in our road that sometimes need navigation.  I'm sure you can think of a few good examples of Christ like behavior from modern day believers.  In a fallen world it can immensely encouraging to see brothers and sisters in Christ living a Godly life.  The destination is still Christ but having people to walk that path with, and point you in the right direction when you need a nudge, is a good thing.

Are you delving into envy?


Comparison is one of those tools that is bottom heavy.  We're always going to tend to go too far, to slide to an extreme, towards negativity.  I don't know about you but I engage in a lot of negative self talk.  For me, comparison usually leads to a negatively balanced conversation that I use to show myself, yet again, that I suck.  Despite this tendency I still honestly believe that comparison doesn't have to be negative.  It's not always bad.  But it sure is easy to go bad.  God is very clear about not gazing with envy at our neighbors stuff.  The shift towards sin in the comparison equation is when we begin to long for what we don't have instead of longing for our Savior.  I can look at my Savior, and Godly examples, and recognize areas I need to work on, with the Spirits prompting, without becoming lost in the disappointment of constant failure to live up to a perfect standard.  But maybe that's the difference.  Are you trying to live up to or live in?  Are you creating a fantasy of perfection to live up to or are you living in the reality of what God says is true.  No matter which Godly example you thought of earlier, they are still sinners struggling with their own stuff.  We create an idealized fiction and then wonder why we can't have/be/do/live like they do.  

Comparison can be the beginning of dreams, inspiration or conviction when we are striving to be imitators of Christ.  Our childlike desire to be like our papa will be His delight no matter how poor our attempt.  So let's talk about this some more next week. I know this is an issue I need to keep exploring for myself and I hope this is helping you ask yourself some important questions too.  


Linkups:


   

6 comments:

  1. I absolutely agree with you. Comparison done in the right way can be a very helpful tool. Often when feeling discouraged about progress in ourselves or a loved one that is working towards a goal it is helpful. We look back to see how far we have come and celebrate the progress. We look forward to set our eyes on where we want to be and work towards it. Thank you for your insightful post and sharing it with Grace & Truth Christian Link-Up. Maree

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    1. Thank you Maree! I'm so glad you came by today.

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  2. Yes, I've found comparison has played a huge role in spurring me on in my growth, but have also noticed that humans tend to compare (always) in the wrong direction. When it comes to spiritual disciplines we compare down to make ourselves feel better. When it comes to materialism, we never compare down, when maybe we should be asking ourselves, "Why do I have running water and access to antibiotics when so many do not?"

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    1. I totally agree, Michele! Some very good points.

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  3. You're so right, comparison has gotten such a bad reputation. If we can use it to spur us on to become more like Christ, then all the better!

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