Resolutions Redux

We are on the final downhill slope towards the end of the year.  I know it's a little early to be thinking about new years resolutions but it is just about the right time to think about this years resolutions.  We often joke about failing in our resolutions within the first month of making them.  Come January there will be many posts poking fun at the phenomena and giving helpful advice on how to make resolutions.  It seems silly to start thinking about resolutions after the fact doesn't it.  It's almost like we have gotten in the habit of thinking of them as a failure before we even begin.  I'm going to start talking about it now because I want to set myself, and hopefully you, up for success.  In the last three Friday's of 2018 I am going to do some self assessment with the hope that you will join me.  This isn't meant to shine a spotlight on failures.  It's meant to shine a light of truth.  So let's take a look back at what worked, what didn't and how to do better.

Maintaining a resolution has two major factors, in my opinion, that lead to successful ending your year with endurance.  And that's what resolutions take, endurance.

1. Setting reasonable goals
2. checking in and assessing how your doing periodically throughout the year

Setting reasonable goals starts with giving yourself enough prep time.  Thinking about what to resolve yourself too on Dec 31 isn't going to help you in the long term.  It takes time to think about what your life and what changes need, should or can be made.  Some resolutions take preparation and advanced warning.  Sometimes resolutions require accountability, medical intervention, meal planning or research.  Give yourself some time over the next few weeks to think about what you are going to resolve and all that that will entail.  Setting reasonable goals also means searching yourself for what you really want to change.  Being invested in the change, and therefor able to endure to the end, requires that it's real, not just a thing that sounds good because everyone's doing it. 

The second major factor in a successful resolution is the practice of assessment.  Not for the purpose of reminding yourself that you've failed, but so that you can see where you're at.  Assessments are designed for resetting, evaluation and restart.  Needing to readjust doesn't mean you've failed, it means you're responsibly managing your course.  Checking in periodically is holding yourself accountable, keeping your resolution in the forefront of your mind and part of the learning experience.

Since my goal this year was to write a blog every week, I'd say I'm doing pretty well.  I've only got a few weeks left to complete this resolution and I am well on track.  They haven't all been the best thing I've ever written, but they have been written.  I'd be on a much different path if I did everything perfectly.  I'm not saying I didn't want to strive for excellence but my priority was balance. I set a reasonable goal, managed expectations and didn't swing to any extremes to accomplish it.  I know that's a lot of productivity buzz words.  The result was a year of growth and learning.

Ultimately, you must ask yourself what the goal of a resolution is.  Resolutions are about enacting change.  For some, it's a response to lack.  Lack of happiness, direction or fulfillment.  For some, it's a response to excess.  For me, it's a call to growth.  To step outside of my comfort zone and embark on an adventure.  To break out of the ruts, routines and mundanities of life.  To seek the wonder and awe that God has surrounded us with.  A call to see life anew. 
 
While I was thinking about the near completion of my resolution, and how I sometimes get mired down in the familiar and mundane, it reminded me of Uncle Traveling Matt.  Do you remember him?  He was my favorite part of Fraggle Rock (yes, I'm old).  Traveling Matt was exploring "outer space" which was really him being baffled by the human world.  It is a delightful observation on how odd life can look from a different perspective.  

So as you think about what your new years resolution might be, I would encourage you to be sure it stretches you to look at your mundane and be amazed, to put the "awe" back into awesome and to redefine your normal.  It's not merely about changing your life.  It's about renewal and balance. 

I'm still thinking about what next years resolution will be.  Join me over the remaining weeks of 2018 as I explore that question.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject and if you would like to share your resolution, I'll be praying with you as we head into 2019.

The Fast is Over

For those of you that have been following along (Hi mom) I cut out technology six days a week and added in a noise fast for just over 40 days.  Why I decided to do this over NaNoWriMo I don't know.  I blame the fact that I didn't start it in November, it just lasted through November, so I forgot about national novel writing month until about a week before.  I've talked about why I entered into this fast but I thought I would share some of what I learned.

Fasting has been on the Christian radar for a while but the diet community has latched on to the idea as well, siting the benefits of intermittent fasting to give the body a break and reset your metabolism and supposedly give you more energy.

The principle has been a part of God's plan from the beginning.  During creation, God established a sabbath, when we would submit ourselves under God's sovereignty and rest.  Our minds and our bodies need these periods of rest. 

In a year where God has called me to rest, I was not terribly please to find God was asking me to give up more.  Resting is the worst, right!  I am so grateful my Patient Teacher hasn't given up.  We live in a world of indulgence.  Our culture is cluttered, over stimulated and impatient.  We don't even recognize how starved for silence we are.  Now that the fast is over I find myself longing for the simplicity of quiet time spent with my Savior.  Having the ability to distract myself doesn't mean that I should.  Having a long to do list doesn't mean I have to get them all done today.  Fasting reminds us that the priorities we have established aren't necessarily the right ones.  Taking a step back is a great way to reset. 

Reset your body, reset your mind.  What do you need a fast from?

What Happens When I Rest

• A lot of inner monologue...A lot of inner monologue happens.
• God reminding me of important truths that He's already told me but I forgot or didn't do.
• Scripture memorization
• Bible Study
• and apparently, cleaning and organizing

When I'm busy, my house is the first thing that suffers.  

• mail piles up
• laundry piles up
• dishes pile up
• clutter consumes

Right now, I am a sweep away from being "company ready".  I've organized the office, linen closet and bedroom and will shortly hit the costume closet and craft room.  I'm excited to get home and vacuum!  My mother may be the only one to gasp at this statement so for the rest of you...I don't like cleaning, I like helping other people clean but cleaning my own house...ugh.

I know a huge chunk of that is because I left it til last, to when I was utterly spent but had no choice because there was nothing clean left or the clutter had made me so uptight and feeling trapped that I wanted to leave it all behind and live in a yurt somewhere far away.  

I wonder if I'm loving the cleaning because its something to do or if its because, as I move closer to my God in this time of rest, He is bringing me closer to the Prov 31 woman.  Either way, I am confronted with the fact once again that I was doing too much before.  I worked like I had three jobs and wondered why I wasn't being blessed for my generosity.  I was tired all the time and was constantly in emergency mode.  The funny thing is, I feel just as busy right now.  3 out of 5 evenings are filled with companionable obligations.  If I try and make plans with people, I still have to carefully navigate my schedule.  

So what does that mean.  It means my focus has shifted.  My days are silent.  I'm not distracting my brain with noise and so I can dedicate my time to what I'm doing.  My time with God is wholly His.  My time cleaning is spent working on my memory verses, praying or thinking about solutions.  I don't feel rushed or harried or obligated.  I get to choose.  I feel like for the first time in recent memory I am "choosing the better part" (Lk 10:38-42) and still being the "Martha" God made me to be.  I've given up the worry in exchange for listening to my Savior.

I'm still settling into it.  Still choosing the quiet, still practicing the stillness.  I'm not good at it .  The toughest verse for me to memorize literally starts "be still and wait patiently on the Lord" Ps 37:7-8  I have to sit and seriously concentrate to remember that first sentence.  I know I'm going to have to keep practicing because I will sink all in to service once again when I'm released from this season of rest if I'm not careful.  I want to choose this.  I want this to be my baseline.  This peace.  This quiet.

I'm going to share the verses I'm memorizing with you.  Keep me accountable or use these verses to inspire you to write God's word upon your heart.  Let's guard our hearts and minds with the transcendent peace of God.

Ps 19:14

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble yourselves, therefore, under Gods mighty hand, that He may life you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Ps 37:7-8

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.  Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil.

Jer 6:16

This is what the Lord says: Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls but you said "we will not walk in it".

Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again; rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable.  If anything is excellent or praise worthy - think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.

Rest you Say?

This weeks blog is going to be...different.  If this is your first time here then you won't notice so ... sorry for when things go back to normal, I guess.  If you read last weeks blog, What is Rest, then you'll know that I am on a break, a sabbatical if you will.
 

I know, you're confused now.  How is there a blog?  Why has there been a post reminding me that this little slice of blogdom has been launched?  All good questions.  When I set off on this adventure last week I asked myself some questions and I had some questions asked of me.  Walking away from technology and noise can be interpreted as throwing the baby out with the bath water. So I wanted to do two things on the blog this week. 

1. I wanted to share the plan
2. I wanted to share what I did 

First, the plan

I do not plan on becoming a hermit.  I tend towards being a recluse as it is.  No, my goal was to be open for fellowship.  In my opinion, placing rules on a time of companionship is very counter productive and very hipster christian.  So, I didn't require others to go noise free to be around me or even mention to my friends and family that I was going on a technology and noise fast.  This isn't supposed to be about what I can do.  So I'm trying to stay very un-rigid.  I also decided to give myself one day of computer time and see how I did with that.  This was partly because I meet with a writing group one day a week and partially because I wanted to see if I could treat my time with technology in a healthy way.  It would force me to prioritize what I was going to do on my computer day.  So that was the plan.  In my time alone; no noise, no computer, no TV, no search engines.  I wanted to give myself a little boredom, a lot of quiet and the practice time I need to be still.  If the blog looks a little boring today and lacks the fanfare of social media posts to announce it....well, that's because I had to set some priorities.  I chose companionship over tasks and I practiced letting go of what I thought should be done.

Second, what I did

I wanted to spend a lot of time in God's word.  That's a given.  I started out working on my current studies but one of the questions really drew my attention to the question, what is rest?  What does God mean by rest?  Normally, we would assume it means you don't work but scripture also talks about allowing yourself to take care of what's needful during sabbath (ie rescue your donkey).  So what is rest?  That question led me on an old fashioned word search thanks to the back of my Bible and not any fancy website or search engine.  I didn't even ask *insert random gender non-specific robot voiced assistant*.  So, I thought I would share where that led me and what I learned.
The verses that started it all were Psalm 37: 7-11, 34.

        Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!  Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!  Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.  For the evil doers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the Land.  In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.  But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.  Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when he wicked are cut off.

Be still, wait patiently, don't fret or be angry, hope in the Lord, keep His ways.  From here on, I'm going to give you the scripture reference and what I learned.  Like I said, I'm prioritizing my time.  Please look up the verses, or do your own word study on rest.  I think you'll be surprised.

• Ex 3:12-18  Rest is holy, consecrated, celebrated, a covenant, abstaining from work, a sign
• Ex 33:14  Rest is given my God, something God gives
• Josh 14:15  Rest is the cessation of conflict
• Josh 21:44  Rest is peace
• Ps 33  Rest is hope & faith in our great God, rejoicing
• Ps 62:1-2, 5  Rest is only found in God, or security and our hope
• Ps 90:17  Rest is settled upon us, seeped in, draped over, soaked in
• Ps 91  Rest is a place of refuge
• Is 30:15  Rest is quietness and trust, repentance and a guiltless mind
• Is 32:17-18  Rest is confidence, security, peace and being undisturbed
• Jer 6:16  Rest is asked for and comes from walking in God's way  

        This one I am going to write out because I want to memorize it myself.

    This is what the Lord says:  Stand at the crossroads and look;  ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will     find rest for your souls.  But you said "We will not walk in it."

• Mt 11:28  Rest is a release from burden
• 2 Cor 12:9-10  Rest is weakness, laid down in humility, for the sake of glorifying God's strength
• Heb 4:9  Rest is belief; utter, absolute belief
• Heb 4:10  Rest is ceasing from work or industry
• Rev 14:13  Rest is ceasing from your labors

This is a much richer, broader, and deeper definition of rest.  This is something I can practice.

What is Rest

I am finally going on a real adventure.  If you've been keeping up with my blog, this will sound very strange to you.  I've traveled a lot this year.  I have had tons of new and exciting things happen.  It all started when God gave me a glimpse into what He has for my future.  This doesn't happen to me very often.  God doesn't usually give me a heads up.  I know it's because I am firmly in the "Martha" camp.  When God gives me a nudge, I go into extreme prep mode.  I am so excited to have a plan to follow that I often forget my best resource and guide.  I suspect that is why, after giving me a glimpse into what He has planned, God asked me to rest.  I've talked about it on the blog, so I won't go over it again but I have been struggling this year with the question "What is rest?"  

It's been clear that God is convicting me about my definition of rest.  I fully confess that my definition of rest is "the chance to catch up".  Vacations, weekends away, I think of them as places to hide so I can finish the backlog of tasks that have built up because I couldn't say no to people.  I fear becoming lazy, or resting wrong, more than I have feared the Lord.  Over the last couple of weeks I have been having random encounters with Godly people in my life, and in my Bible study, that have brought this problem up.  

So I'm walking away.  I'm walking away from the need to fulfill any need I come across.  I'm walking away from technology.  I'm walking away from the list of things I have moved too far up on my priority list.  I am walking away from noise.  I have fasted from noise before, you can read about that here, and I expect it is going to be terribly hard.  Giving up the things I have attached my purpose and significance to is going to be hard.  That's the reason why I'm giving up all the things I distract myself with so I haven't had to address these things.  That's the reason why I have to give up these things so I can actually hear my God.

So, I am truly going on an adventure.  A quest into the deepest, darkest wilds.  I am going to leave the beaten path, the familiar trails of my life, and stop trying to make adventure happen.  I am going to dive into aloneness with intention.  To sit in the stillness.  It's going to be full of frustration, tears and sorrow but this adventure is going to teach me how to exchange those things for joy, contentment and the ability to recognize treasures of greater worth.  

Has the Lord been convicting you of something lately?  Is He asking you to do something you don't want to do?  I get it.  Let's do this together.  

Spiritual Thrill Seeking

Living your adventurous life everyday is hard. If you're anything like me, you want to keep things fresh and in the present so you don't lose the important in the mundane.  Since the focus of my year has been adventure, I've been seeking external experiences to go along with the internal adventure that's happening.  Some friends have questioned this trend because it has brought on some physical reminders of the health challenges I face.  They used the term "spiritual thrill seeking".  I have to admit that I smile a little as I picture myself doing Biblical Parkour.  I love that I have friends and family that don't shy away from keeping me accountable.  Criticism, constructive or otherwise, is a great opportunity to consider the issue before the Lord and determine if you're confident or convicted.  

For me, I haven't felt convicted, I've felt warned.  My quest for adventure is truly a manifestation of the adventure that is happening spiritually.  It is, however, important to consider: how do you know how far is too far?  Can seeking God turn into thrill seeking?  Is it possible to lose sight of God in the midst of an adventure with Him?  I think we all would have to admit that the answer is yes.  Anything, absolutely anything, can become an idol because an idol is anything that takes our focus off of God.    

I don't want you to get the mistaken impression that adventure means hiking up mountains, surfing on an extreme wave or slaloming down a double black diamond.  Thrill seeking is being eager to take part in exciting activities that involve physical risk.  So, lets tweak that definition to being eager to take part in exciting activities that involve spiritual risk.  Spiritual thrill seeking isn't an extreme sport but it is an extreme.

So let's look at some warning signs that your adventure has become more focused on your experience than it is on God.

Warning sign #1

Trying to recreate a spiritual experience based on someone else's experience.  

I have to admit that when I was *cough* slightly younger than I am now I wondered why the great spiritual experiences I was hearing other women have weren't happening to me.  Some had dreams, some spoke in tongues, some heard from the Lord, the list goes on.  I assumed I wasn't spiritual enough or wasn't mature enough.      Any time we shift our eyes away from the One we have a relationship with to someone else's relationship, we are entering dangerous waters.  We think if we can just do the right things, we'll have the spiritual experiences we've heard other people have.  Here is what is important to remember when you catch yourself doing that.  Your relationship with God isn't about producing the right experiences to show off to others.  Your relationship with God is, wait for it, your relationship with God.  

Warning sign #2

Trying to recreate the circumstances of a previous spiritual experience.

If you have had an undeniable encounter with God or a time of closeness that was a balm to your soul, it's hard to sit comfortably in those times when God is silent.  I know I have wondered in the past if those times of silence were a punishment, if I had fallen away from my Savior, and so I frantically try and go back to what "worked" before.  I utterly spent myself in volunteering, giving, trying to be more selfless, and found the silence more condemning than ever.  I have stopped trying to fix the silence.  Trying to recreate a spiritual experience never works because, surprisingly, God is not a pet we can train to do tricks on command.  I have learned over the years that the times of silence are just as necessary to my spiritual growth as those times when God feels so very present.  Those moments of silence teach us about our deep need for Him and force us to stretch farther and go deeper to seek Him and abide.

Warning sign #3

Trying to shape your spiritual experience

We often get an idea in our head about what a  "spiritual person" looks like.    I know for me it is an idealized picture of beauty, peace, cleanliness and solitude followed by smiling kindness, wisdom, intelligence and selflessness.  What does your ideal "spiritual person" look like?  Now ask yourself, are you chasing after an ideal or are you chasing after God?  

This picture I have in my head accuses me of how far I am falling short.  It pushes me to "accomplish" a spiritual life like I can achieve it with the right combination of to-do lists and discipline.  It drives me to seek out ways to fix what's wrong with me.  Here's the thing.  God is working on us at exactly the right pace, at exactly the right time, in exactly the right way.  He doesn't have a picture of an ideal spiritual person He's trying to accomplish. He has a picture of YOU perfected by Him.     


1 Corinthians 9:24-25 ESV

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize?  So run that you may obtain it.  Every athlete exercises self-control in all things.  They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

Spiritual thrill seeking is dangerous because it shifts the focus of why.  Why are you in the race.  It changes what you see as the prize at the end.  Why you run the race will make all the difference in what you are pursuing and how you go about it.  Is it the acclaim?  The fame and notoriety?  Is it the reward?  Is it the emotional or physical high?  Or is it running full out to jump into the arms of a heavenly Father who is waiting with arms outstretched to hold us?  

So what are you running toward?   

Self Discovery on an Adventure: The Bad Stuff

I don't think I've made it clear to everyone that I recently got the chance to go on an adventure in Great Britain.  My group had been planning for about a year and we thought we were pretty well prepared (You can check out the previous installments here first and here second to see how that went). Travel is great because it's full of new experiences, sights and adventures.  It can also be full of exhaustion, confusion and short tempers.  In my pursuit of an adventure to find God in my everyday I discovered some things about myself in the testing ground that the trip became that I was pretty ashamed of.  So what do you do when you discover unpleasant things about yourself when you're supposed to be having an adventure?

My hubby and I went to Great Britain back in our second year of marriage with a friend.  It was an amazing opportunity and I really enjoyed myself.  We had a great time.  Here's the thing, our travel companion thought I had the worst time ever.  Why?  I was overweight and generally unhappy.  It was my normal at the time.  I was getting used to having a chronic illness and getting used to being a wife. 

Complaint was a normal part of my language.  I have since been called out for complaining which made me aware of what I thought was "sharing" and was really the symptom of a heart problem.  That first time to Great Britain was full of great memories but it was a great lesson afterward as I got feedback from my friend.  It made me aware of the attitudes I wear.  

This latest adventure to Great Britain was like a mirror of the first time.  I watched as my travel companion struggled and a completely unexpected thing happened.  I was impatient.  I am appalled to admit it.  Even now I feel ashamed of myself.  My previous esperience should have prompted me to greater understanding and compassion.  Instead, I kept trying to make things better with more planning, adjustments to the schedule, and trying to interact less with my companions.  The truth is, how I do things isn't how my companions did things.  While this led to further frustration, it didn't have too.  Once misunderstanding took root, every word seemed to have the potential to be hurtful.  I tried to fix it by talking less which ended up coming across as passive aggressive and sulky.  I hate those words.  They are ugly words and I hate imagining myself wearing them.

People wear all kinds of weird stuff when they go on vacation.  Stuff they would never wear at home.  Plaid beanies, Hawaiian shirts, lederhosen.  It seems we also wear our dirty laundry.  The secret things we say in the privacy of our minds that we dismiss at home because we can easily brush them aside.  In our safe places, in our familiar, we indulge in them like pieces of chocolate because we can be alone.  We don't have to constantly be on our best behavior.  On a trip, or outside our comfort zones, or during times of exhaustion and pain, there is no where to hide.  Those things we think in the privacy of our mind become an internal snide commentary that makes its way onto our face and out of our mouths.  

During the course of any adventure it is always wise to be aware of tensions and to ask yourself: 

1. Is my behavior adding to or subtracting from the experience we are having?
2. What lingering dark place in your heart came out of your mouth in a moment of weakness?
3. What am I going to do about it?

For Biblical and practical reasons the first thing you need to do about it is confess it to God and then go and apologize to your companions.  Getting it resolved gives everyone the best chance to reset and get on with having a great time.  Once that is done, I find it very useful to write it down and talk to God about it in detail.  While the immediate weakness of exhaustion and stress will go away, the underlying issue that it exposed is something you want to bring to the Light.

   

Discovering unpleasant things about yourself on an adventure gives you the gift of insight.  The opportunity to bring those things before the Lord, confess them, and ask Him to weed them out of your thought closet (to borrow a turn of phrase from Jennifer Rothschild).  It's hard, and it's ugly, but I can't think of a better memento to bring back from any vacation.

I hope my travel companions will look back on this adventure and forget the tensions, spats, pain and frustrations.  I hope they will remember the adventure for the exciting and new experience it was.  Either way, I know I'm praising God for using the adventure to teach me more about Him and who He wants me to be.    

New Adventures

We're going to keep things short this week because I am coming back from another grand adventure.  Today, however, I'm going to share something I discovered on a mini adventure near to home.  It's just worked out this year that new adventure has accompanied my spiritual adventure.  I don't usually have this much excitement in my year but I am not going to complain.  As you may have guessed, I love adventure.  

I went on a hike up Mt. Cutler with my Holy Yoga group, Beautiful & Beloved.  I knew I wasn't supposed to be working my knees so soon but I was called to this group and this adventure.  

It was indeed a beautiful hike.  And I found myself reflecting on my time in the Sneffels Traverse.  I knew I wanted to take it easy on this hike and thankfully I was with a group of women who enjoy checking in on each others hearts and loved stopping to view the scenery.  
I found myself praising God for my health, for the ability to move and be in God's creation.  It always lifts my heart to remember to thank God for where I'm at physically, even when I'm suffering health issues.  This side of heaven I am in an imperfect vessel.  I will likely always suffer health issues until the Lord calls me home but I can sure be grateful for the health I do have.

I noticed something as I walked.  All along the trail and ground were broken and fallen pieces of the scenery.  Bits of pine and bush were littered on the ground.  

We've been having some very large hail storms.  Within site of this trail were some of the hardest hit.  Our zoo lost animals, had all the cars in their lot damaged and had 5 people brought to the hospital because of injuries from the hail.  The Broadmoor's golf course was pretty much destroyed by the divots from the hail.  There was property damage galore on the south side of town.  Flooding was a problem for many.

As I noticed the pieces of pine on the ground I noticed some were new, bright green and fragrant.  Some were old, brown and drying.  

It reminded me of a verse.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 English Standard Version (ESV)

8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 


Perhaps times of spiritual attack are part of the pruning process.  To knock off parts of us that are getting in the way of our growth.  

John 15:2 English Standard Version (ESV)

2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

That's where I'm going to leave you today.  I want to encourage you all to remember to look at the whole picture.  There was plenty of evidence of the storms that had passed through this region and if I had kept my head down and focused on the damage I would have missed the utter beauty I was walking through.  The same is true for my life.  If I focus on what I've lost in the midst of spiritual attack or discipline, I would miss the beauty of what God is doing in my life.  I can definitely acknowledge the damage, the loss, but I don't want to dwell there.  I want to glory in what the Lord will do because He is always working for my good.

Bob's Your Uncle - Parable of the Talents

Last week we asked the question, What about Bob?  This week we're going to stop speculating about the parable of the talents and focus on what I think the parable is really about.  This week I want to talk about why there is no Bob.

I think Bob wasn't a part of the parable of the talents for a great many reasons but primarily it's because the parable of the talents is about investment versus fear.  We talked about what investment is last week but just as a reminder, investment is defined as an act of devoting time, effort or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result.  

From a worldly standpoint, investing is always a risky business.  You will never know enough, have enough experience or work hard enough to avoid losses and that can create a great deal of fear.  There is a great deal of fear that can be bound up in investing our present to pursue God's will for our lives.  There's a great deal of fear in trusting our future to anything.  We invest money hoping it will sustain us in the event of disaster and old age. For many, that fear is paralyzing.   

That's one of the things I had failed to consider when pondering the parable of the talents.  Fear can halt investment.  

It's a long term bruise on my heart that I'm afraid of disappointing God, and that's the point really.  It's why this particular parable is so fascinating to me.  My fear makes me act like the third servant.  Suddenly, I'm not investing what God has given me.  Instead, I'm stuck in the mud.  My head and my talent buried in the sand.

That's why God brought me back to this parable this year.  He wanted me to focus on stretching myself outside of the fear of failing Him.  To step outside of the idea of successfully performing and instead to refocus on investing.  To set aside my fear in favor of believing God will bring the increase to my future.

The talent that God has given each one of us to invest is a teaching tool.  It's meant to be used.  The Master isn't concerned with the future, He already knows what's going to happen.  He's concerned with how well the talent He gives is invested.  We have to learn how to do that.  

The first servant got more praise even though he didn't have any greater return than the second servant.  Does that mean he took greater risk, stepped out more or invested more wisely?  We don't know.  What we do know is that the master gave to each according to his ability.  The Master knew what they could do and he expected them to do it.  

God didn't include a fourth servant in that parable because what distinguishes the third servant, and any number of imaginary other servants we might speculate about, is his fear.  Fear of doing it wrong, fear of disappointing or angering the master or fear of failing.  The Master only gave talents to those servants who had the ability to use it in the first place.  The Master wouldn't have entrusted any talents to "Bob" because He knew Bob couldn't handle the responsibility.  

So which servant are you?  Has fear kept you from investing?  Has it kept you from learning, growing, practicing and pursuing what God has called you to do?  We don't hop fully formed into this world.  We have to learn and grow.  We have to invest in the learning process.  It takes time.  Mistakes are part of that process.  If God gave you a talent or a gifting, it was for a reason.  He knows you're going do great things with it, so go practice!  Keep getting better and don't let fear stop you.

Conversations with God

A few weeks ago I shared my experience trying to meet God in an extraordinary environment in Voice of Thunder - Sneffels Traverse.  I thought it only fitting that I should share the experience I've had this week in my normal, mundane environment.  

The purpose of this blog is to find God in my everyday but my family has been encouraging me to ask myself if I have become a spiritual thrill seeker.  Has my longing for adventure superseded my need to search for God in my moments like a treasure of great price?  This year has certainly been a year of adventure.  Travel, new experiences, learning about new things and having new challenges to deal with have all been a part of that.  God has gifted me so much adventure I might have lost site of the ordinary a little bit. 

I have been praying specifically since the mountain and trying to listen.  This past week I got a clear nudge from the Lord as I was praying.  How could I hear from Him if I wasn't in His Word.  It has been a while since I specifically prayed with the Word of God open before me.  Don’t get me wrong, I pray.  I just don’t often pray with or over scripture.  It’s just not a habit I ever got into unless I’m in a Bible Study and I would still forget unless the study prompted me to do so.  Typing that brings shame rising up in me.  It seems so obvious that should be a part of my relationship with God.  How can that not be a natural step for me?

I have told you before I struggle with discipline.  I’ve been praying for it since I was a very young lady.  Without my schedule and to-do list, without my formal Bible study groups, I’m even more lost.  All this summer I've been praying and seeking and totally forgetting a huge part of hearing from the Lord.  I had been participating in 3-5 Bible Studies before summer began, which was a lot.  It took up huge swaths of my day to complete all the “homework”.  The gatherings took hours out of my week.  When I hadn’t gotten further word from the Lord I assumed it was because I wasn’t obeying His command to rest.  So I slowly released most of the Bible Studies when they ended and waited to hear from Him.  We tend to go to extremes don’t we?  I know I do.  Clearing my schedule to rest didn’t mean God didn’t want me to spend any time in His Word.    

So this week I've been very intentional.  I started studying Isaiah again.  I have made goals for my day, but the top of the list has been time in God's Word for study.  I prayed before, I prayed during and I prayed after.  I’m sure you won’t be surprise to know what happened next.   I heard from the Lord.  He showed up, He met me, He answered my questions, He delighted me and I delighted in Him.  I saw Him in my moments more clearly than I have in months.  He worked through me and in me. 

It’s amazing what small adjustments can do.  It’s amazing how vital time in God’s Word is to my relationship with Him.  As the flurry of “Back To School” starts for you who have children, I want to encourage you.  With the institution of new schedules, sleep adjustment attitude fun and new obligations and expectations, don’t forget time with the source of your strength. 

Matthew 6:33

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Psalm 119:9

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?  By living according to your word.

Psalm 1:2

But whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.

2 Timothy 2:15

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

Romans 10:17

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.

Psalm 119:105

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

This isn't a Christian obligation that we should do to be Christian.  This is a vital need.  It's a conversation, it's bread and water and we absolutely need it to live.  It can't get more extraordinary and beautifully mundane than that.

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