Are you pursuing success/return or are you seeking to be a good steward of what God has given you?
Anything we put effort and attention into has the potential of becoming an idol. It's an important question to ask yourself periodically. Pursuit of something new comes with a lot of blind wandering as you research, learn, explore, fumble and network. Putting that kind of effort in will require time and attention as well as patience and endurance. So in this state of trying to balance
Matthew 25:14-30 (ESV)
I came across a writing prompt a couple of weeks ago titled "I feel a deluge when". Yeah, I've been feeling a deluge. A deluge of doubt, questions, lists, worry and fear.
Am I doing "this" right?
Am I doing too much?
Am I not doing enough?
This is what I wrote:
I feel a deluge when... I consider all that is wrong and hard in this world. When I consider how little my light is, how tiny in the sea of stars, I am overwhelmed by the completeness of the darkness that seems to surround me. I know intellectually that God's light pierces the darkness and will one day make it flee, but I also know my purpose on this earth is to shine so that others may see. God shines through us so the world won't be blinded by the brilliance of His glory. While I stumble around in a dark world hoping someone sees this little light of mine, I have no way of knowing if I'm in the right place. God does. He's guided me right to this moment. He holds my
moments, and this little light of mine, right where and when He wants me. I feel overwhelmed at times because I want to strive to be my best, to be of the best use to my God. In the cascade of drowning thoughts and fears, when the monsoon of doubt hits, I have to remind myself that God doesn't reveal everything to us. I have to heighten my senses to Him. To trust, like the blind, in my guide.
Can you see the influence of last weeks post? Me too. I can also see that big question that has been on my mind this week. Am I striving for myself or God? I wanted to share this raw prompt with you because while I see those doubts and questions in this paragraph, I see something else too.
There is a reason God uses the analogy of light and dark to describe our walk through this world. God showed up in the form of light in the darkness from the first covenant with Abram.