Our house is a little old. Home ownership has a lot of stresses when it comes to repair and maintenance. Our first home was a new build and while we didn't live there long enough for maintenance issues we did struggle with a sea of mice and black widows that were displaced from the empty lot behind us when new construction began. Our second home had black mold and many other issues but when we got one of the estimates for repairing the mold problem I had my first TMJ attack from my jaw stress clenching. Lack of money or lack of expertise can lead to paralyzing indecision. My husband and I are not handy people. Repairing a fence, putting in a water heater, replacing a sump pump....we've done those things...but not well. We've had some pretty major expenses for our current house. This week I got a quote for over $19,000 for a repair along with several other thousand dollar repair jobs that need to happen. It should have been stressful....and I'm pretty sure I'm not stressed about it. (My body and I don't communicate well so I sometimes don't know when the reactions I'm having are stress related)
Here's the thing, God is using these potential stressers as a test, not for His amusement but for me. You see, God has been doing a lot but the two I'm going to focus on right now are the long term work and the short term work.
- I've been struggling with weight and ever increasing headaches and migraines. I've tried a lot of things (see previous blog posts) and didn't really believe this "new thing to try" would make any difference. With reservation I entered into an intention to prepare Whole 30 every day for a month (I didn't think I could give up dairy) I can say I've lost a little weight but the biggest difference is the decrease in headaches and I haven't had a migraine in weeks. This is a HUGE deal. I had a 4 day migraine not too long ago. I've also had enough energy to get more tasks done which helps my overall mental health.
- I've noticed I hold onto house and money stress much less than I used too. I have the resources and calm to do what I can to research and make the best decision available. 10, 15 years ago....that was not me. I'd call my dad. I'd stress out about who to even call for a specific issue. I'd stress about how much it cost and I'd often wait until the problem was worse and it forced me into action.
Without these situations, and a few spiritual prompts to look, I wouldn't have noticed God had been succeeding in teaching me how to give up worry and stress. While it's never fun to be out thousands of dollars, I can honestly say I'm bubbling with joy. It's inexplicable, it's miraculous, it's God!