Friday, September 7, 2018

The Adventure Continues


I mentioned last week that I was coming back from a big adventure.  In reality, it was the first planned adventure for the year.  Like most adventures, we planned as much as we could and then waited for the inevitable changes that would mock whatever preparations we had tried to make.  It might seem a little cynical but it's very Biblical to expect trouble.  See John 16:33 ;)  

So let's talk about dealing with the disappointment of changing plans.  Whether you're on vacation or at home, plans change.  As the planner of my family, this fact hits me harder than it does my spouse.  This makes practical sense because I've put time and effort into the planning.  Changes mean waste in my brain.  Wasted time, wasted effort.  It also means blame.  I am to blame for the disappointment.  For my personality type, it's the worst.  Some of you can shrug off most change while some of us have to do mental battle to recover properly.  

Over the years, my spouse and I have gotten in the habit of mentally shaking ourselves after a change (ie problem/challenge) by saying to each other, "Well, it's an adventure".  If you've been following this blog for a while then you might guess that was the beginning of Dotted Lines, and you'd be right.  In our minds, adventure is what happens when you're off book.  When you've left the scripted path and find yourself in unfamiliar territory.  Adventure always starts with a challenge.  Isn't it strange that when we seek an adventure, we think that's not going to happen.  That our thrilling adventure will be safe, scripted and ultimately predictable with social media worthy images and perfect smiles as we luxuriantly rest.  Social media has trained us to expect a cultivated adventure.  We see only the perfect moments in other peoples adventures and so we expect only the perfect moments in ours.  

It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, doesn't it.  No one really expects to have only perfect moments.  We do proceed as if we could plan them though.  Can you imagine?  To only have the moments you planned for...How awful would that be!  How utterly boring!!  Dealing with disappointing changes is begun by honestly looking at your expectations (if you haven't read Anticipation vs Expectation, you should).  

That's my families castle in the background.  I've had the privilege of visiting twice now.  It's my very favorite castle.  This is the day I had looked forward too the most on the trip.  You can see the joy on my face.  I couldn't wait to show my ancestral land to my companions!  Unfortunately, this day was full of changed plans, challenges, disappointments and a serious lack of food.  My party was utterly done with this day by the end and I was beside myself because every time I tried to fix it, it went more wrong.  

Here's the real trick to being able to deal with disappointment!  You don't let the challenges define your entire day.  Some of my best moments have come from the unexpected but only because I was able to see the adventure for what it was.  I wasn't focused on the disappointment but on the wonder of the moment.  It's all about what you focus on.  

So, are you going to focus on the disappointment, and have a disappointing day, or are you going to focus on what God is doing instead?  God's plan always works and is always perfect.  Don't misunderstand me.  God's perfect moments aren't always my perfect moments.  God is working for my good and sometimes the "perfect moment" is when my disappointments reveal character flaws that need to be exposed and dealt with.  We'll get to that in a couple weeks.

Next week we'll talk about how to cope with companions on your adventure.  Until then, in the immortal words of some singer that is not Weird Al, shake it off.  Do what works for you to recenter, choose a new direction, and enjoy the adventure you are having even if it's not the one you wanted.  


 

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