New Years Changes

We spent the last few weeks of December looking at resolutions.  Now, firmly resolved, we stare 2019 in the face and ask ourselves 'is this going to work?'  Lets set aside that fear laced question and instead look at what we are going to change.  If you didn't give yourself enough of a head start on your resolutions then you've probably been thinking about them or implementing them this week.  I've been thinking about mine a lot.

2018 was about rest.  God has been teaching and testing me in this area to remind me of the importance of obedience in rest.  The last quarter of the year was more intense in this area as God asked me to give up noise, technology and entertainment.  I spent a lot of the year wondering when it was going to be over...the rest, not the year.  Even in those moments of impatience God was teaching me how like a child I am.  The 'are we there yets' of my spiritual journey are so similar to the impatience I've seen in little ones.  God took great care to keep telling me to rest, to wait, to relax, to stop worrying, to stop being anxious and to not fret.

Near the end of December, God started to reveal what He was going to be working in 2019.  It's going to be a lot.  It's going to be a ton of learning, growing, and working.  Just thinking about it got me all worked up and ready to whip out to do lists, organizational aspiration sheets and a paper bag to breath into.  Okay, maybe not that last one.  I like being busy.  God taught me a lot in 2018 about where I find my value.  I know I was finding my worth and value in what I could do.  Without that (ugh, rest) I had to meet with Jesus about what that meant.  Being released from rest was like lifting the first gate at the races.  I near ran into the fence in my haste.  Because God gave me a year of rest, a year of coming back to a baseline of peace, I know that my resolutions are going to have to reflect what I learned last year.  In anticipation of what I think God will do with my year, I have made some resolutions and goals based on growing towards areas that I want to see if God has given me a passion for, to remind me of what God taught me was important in 2018 and to test doors and see where God is moving.

So what does that all mean.  I'm going to be writing more and blogging less.  Dotted lines, at least for now, is going to be moving to a once a month format.  Don't worry.  I have a year or mores worth of blogs for you to go back through if you need something to read ;)  In addition, Dotted Lines is going to be starting a YouTube channel!  Why?  Well, a few reasons.  One of them being the fact that humor and sarcasm tend to read better with facial expressions and I might translate better to you, the audience, face to face as it were.  I have some exciting publishing and contest news to announce already for 2019 but I have to hold my hat a little bit.  Since submitting more articles and contest pieces is one of my resolutions, I think that bodes well for the year ;)  My final resolution is to have my priorities straight.  In other words, time with God has to come first, without limits.  My time is His and without that source I won't be able to create, stay unafraid or hold on to peace.   That's my top priority this year.  To approach the potentially frantic with the sense of peace and calm that only comes from time spent with the Prince of Peace.  It is going to be a straight up test of what I have learned in 2018 so I am praying and working hard to establish some good habits to support this resolve.

Video seems to be the direction for the year.  I am going to be doing a lot of learning in this area through multiple outlets as I serve others and work it out for myself.  It's going to be tempting to fall back on negative self talk (I hate feeling dumb and I am going to feel dumb a lot as I learn) and frantically trying to complete an ever growing to-do list.  That's why my word for 2019 is Balance. 

So what is your word for 2019?  Have you started well this week or do you need to reset?  Either way, I hope you will join me.  The mission of Dotted Lines is still to embark on the amazing adventure of searching for God in my every day.  That won't change no matter where we move!

JD's Guide to Surviving Travel Companions

Sometimes surviving the adventure can be hard.  Last week, we talked about surviving disappointment in The Adventure Continues.  This week we're going to talk about surviving travel companions, conflicting personalities and exhaustion fueled tension on an adventure.

Whether you're traveling with a spouse, children, siblings, parents, in-laws or friends, when more than one person is thrown into the pot of stress that is travel, you are going to have challenges.  There is a tricky balance that can be achieved so that everyone is having a great adventure.

The first trick to surviving companions is Awareness.  

I don't mean the laser focus on the other persons annoying personality, selfish thoughtlessness or their trouble making antics.  I mean self awareness.  Often, we over react to other people because we aren't aware of what is happening inside ourselves. Something riles us and we start escalating.  After my last big adventure my spouse and I were talking about some reactions we had to each other that didn't speak love (that's our nice way of saying we were not nice to each other, me more than him).  Through the course of the conversation we were each able to explain to the other why we had gotten upset.  I explained that I think of him as smart, way smarter than me, and it didn't make sense to me when what was obvious to me wasn't obvious, or even noticeable, to him.  Additionally when he doubted me in the areas where things were obvious to me, it was like he was confirming that I was dumb.  To him, being smart was his identity in a family full of macho guys and creative gals.  Being able to contribute and help with technology reinforced that feeling of being a useful individual.  Each of us, being able to identify the "baggage" that was causing our reactions to each other totally reframed the situation. Now I knew that my husband wasn't doubting my usefulness or intelligence, he was trying to be helpful.   Being aware that your feelings are getting hurt because of how your interpreting the other persons action is the first step in stopping any escalation.  It's also important to be aware of the other persons needs, proclivities and wants in a practical sense.  If your travel companion is hurting physically, unlikely to tell you what they want to do or is just plain tired, they are going to react totally differently.  Knowing that a kiddo is tired and over reacting makes it much easier to be patient.  Knowing that an adult is hurting means you'll be able to make accommodations and therefore make the adventure accessible to everyone. 

That leads us to the second trick; Grace.

I bet you thought I was going to say patience didn't you.  Patience is great, and it is necessary, but grace is the next step because it carries with it compassion and empathy.  Grace is the free and unmerited favor of God.  As followers of Christ, we are meant to emulate Him.  We are also told to love others as we love ourselves.  Giving grace to your travel companion really means loving them through the tension.  It's about letting go of your "right" to be sick and tired of the shenanigans.  We often justify our annoyance and wear it like a badge of long-suffering.  Here's the thing, you can choose.  You can choose to enjoy where you are at and the person/people you are with.  You can choose to love them unconditionally.  You did choose to go on the adventure with them after all. 

The third trick is an oldie but a goodie, Compromise.

Everyone gets set in patterns of the mundane.  For families, it means you learn where those lines are and then you move on.  You suddenly throw yourself into an adventure into the unknown and it's like we forget how to compromise.  My best advice is to openly communicate before the adventure.  Make your plans together.  Know what your top priorities are and make sure, if at all possible, everyone gets to do their most desired adventure.  If you don't have time for everyone's top activity, or your travel companions are a bit mercurial, then you work towards a middle ground.  I know that sounds simple, but it can be.  Prepare for compromise, reset your expectations and make sure that everyone is on the same page.  

But what do when your travel companion won't compromise, is too young to moderate their selfish inclinations or is hurting too much (mentally or physically) to recognize their overreactions?

Here is the final trick.  This is the big one.  The key.  It comes in two parts.  Relax and Follow Where God Leads.

This bears repeating...RELAX.  It's not that big a deal.  Whatever it is, it's not that big a deal.  Ultimately, adventures can't be scheduled, planned out or regulated.  Staying calm will go a long way to keeping your companions calm.  Ultimately, we know that God is in control of our journey.  Your adventure is not going "wrong".  It's going exactly how God intended.  It's important to remember you are a living testimony and how you react to your companions will speak volumes about your faith.  Set aside your expectations of how you thought things would go and embrace the adventure God has brought you.  

Take a breath.  
Count to ten.  
Take a walk. 
Schedule some alone time.  

Know yourself well enough to respond to what you need and communicate that to your companions kindly but honestly.  Extend love and compassion to your companions.  Actively work on everyone having a good time.  Most importantly, enjoy the adventure God has you on.  That's it.  

The Adventure Continues

I mentioned last week that I was coming back from a big adventure.  In reality, it was the first planned adventure for the year.  Like most adventures, we planned as much as we could and then waited for the inevitable changes that would mock whatever preparations we had tried to make.  It might seem a little cynical but it's very Biblical to expect trouble.  See John 16:33 ;)  

So let's talk about dealing with the disappointment of changing plans.  Whether you're on vacation or at home, plans change.  As the planner of my family, this fact hits me harder than it does my spouse.  This makes practical sense because I've put time and effort into the planning.  Changes mean waste in my brain.  Wasted time, wasted effort.  It also means blame.  I am to blame for the disappointment.  For my personality type, it's the worst.  Some of you can shrug off most change while some of us have to do mental battle to recover properly.  

Over the years, my spouse and I have gotten in the habit of mentally shaking ourselves after a change (ie problem/challenge) by saying to each other, "Well, it's an adventure".  If you've been following this blog for a while then you might guess that was the beginning of Dotted Lines, and you'd be right.  In our minds, adventure is what happens when you're off book.  When you've left the scripted path and find yourself in unfamiliar territory.  Adventure always starts with a challenge.  Isn't it strange that when we seek an adventure, we think that's not going to happen.  That our thrilling adventure will be safe, scripted and ultimately predictable with social media worthy images and perfect smiles as we luxuriantly rest.  Social media has trained us to expect a cultivated adventure.  We see only the perfect moments in other peoples adventures and so we expect only the perfect moments in ours.  

It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, doesn't it.  No one really expects to have only perfect moments.  We do proceed as if we could plan them though.  Can you imagine?  To only have the moments you planned for...How awful would that be!  How utterly boring!!  Dealing with disappointing changes is begun by honestly looking at your expectations (if you haven't read Anticipation vs Expectation, you should).  

That's my families castle in the background.  I've had the privilege of visiting twice now.  It's my very favorite castle.  This is the day I had looked forward too the most on the trip.  You can see the joy on my face.  I couldn't wait to show my ancestral land to my companions!  Unfortunately, this day was full of changed plans, challenges, disappointments and a serious lack of food.  My party was utterly done with this day by the end and I was beside myself because every time I tried to fix it, it went more wrong.  

Here's the real trick to being able to deal with disappointment!  You don't let the challenges define your entire day.  Some of my best moments have come from the unexpected but only because I was able to see the adventure for what it was.  I wasn't focused on the disappointment but on the wonder of the moment.  It's all about what you focus on.  

So, are you going to focus on the disappointment, and have a disappointing day, or are you going to focus on what God is doing instead?  God's plan always works and is always perfect.  Don't misunderstand me.  God's perfect moments aren't always my perfect moments.  God is working for my good and sometimes the "perfect moment" is when my disappointments reveal character flaws that need to be exposed and dealt with.  We'll get to that in a couple weeks.

Next week we'll talk about how to cope with companions on your adventure.  Until then, in the immortal words of some singer that is not Weird Al, shake it off.  Do what works for you to recenter, choose a new direction, and enjoy the adventure you are having even if it's not the one you wanted.  


 

New Adventures

We're going to keep things short this week because I am coming back from another grand adventure.  Today, however, I'm going to share something I discovered on a mini adventure near to home.  It's just worked out this year that new adventure has accompanied my spiritual adventure.  I don't usually have this much excitement in my year but I am not going to complain.  As you may have guessed, I love adventure.  

I went on a hike up Mt. Cutler with my Holy Yoga group, Beautiful & Beloved.  I knew I wasn't supposed to be working my knees so soon but I was called to this group and this adventure.  

It was indeed a beautiful hike.  And I found myself reflecting on my time in the Sneffels Traverse.  I knew I wanted to take it easy on this hike and thankfully I was with a group of women who enjoy checking in on each others hearts and loved stopping to view the scenery.  
I found myself praising God for my health, for the ability to move and be in God's creation.  It always lifts my heart to remember to thank God for where I'm at physically, even when I'm suffering health issues.  This side of heaven I am in an imperfect vessel.  I will likely always suffer health issues until the Lord calls me home but I can sure be grateful for the health I do have.

I noticed something as I walked.  All along the trail and ground were broken and fallen pieces of the scenery.  Bits of pine and bush were littered on the ground.  

We've been having some very large hail storms.  Within site of this trail were some of the hardest hit.  Our zoo lost animals, had all the cars in their lot damaged and had 5 people brought to the hospital because of injuries from the hail.  The Broadmoor's golf course was pretty much destroyed by the divots from the hail.  There was property damage galore on the south side of town.  Flooding was a problem for many.

As I noticed the pieces of pine on the ground I noticed some were new, bright green and fragrant.  Some were old, brown and drying.  

It reminded me of a verse.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 English Standard Version (ESV)

8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 


Perhaps times of spiritual attack are part of the pruning process.  To knock off parts of us that are getting in the way of our growth.  

John 15:2 English Standard Version (ESV)

2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

That's where I'm going to leave you today.  I want to encourage you all to remember to look at the whole picture.  There was plenty of evidence of the storms that had passed through this region and if I had kept my head down and focused on the damage I would have missed the utter beauty I was walking through.  The same is true for my life.  If I focus on what I've lost in the midst of spiritual attack or discipline, I would miss the beauty of what God is doing in my life.  I can definitely acknowledge the damage, the loss, but I don't want to dwell there.  I want to glory in what the Lord will do because He is always working for my good.

Voice of Thunder - Sneffels Traverse

Last week I shared how God was calling me away to be with Him in Strangely Dim.  This week I want to share with you what happened.

I am an indoor girl.  I've never enjoyed going outside.  I like reading...inside.  In our pursuit of better health, my husband and I have been working out and eating in whatever version of healthy we have to pursue in the moment (add on low cholesterol diet to the low nickel diet and we have new dramas to share)  When my friend Minx asked if I would be interesting in stepping in for her friend who couldn't go on a hiking trip they had planned for a year, I laughed it off at first.  I'm not a hiker.  I have never been backpacking.  But I couldn't get it out of my head.  I set a budget, ways to confirm with the Lord that this was His prompting and started reading about the Sneffels Traverse.

The Sneffels Traverse is a 5 day hut to hut backpacking trip across 30 miles of diverse terrain.  Needless to say, God continued to confirm this was the right course and I met my budget goals.  I knew this was going to be a difficult and painful experience but I was so excited by the call to come away with God that I couldn't contain my excitement.

I couldn't sleep the night before we left no matter how hard I tried.  I prayed and waited for God to work or speak.  

The drive up to the trail head was lovely.  A herd of Elk crossed in front of us and the start of the trail was pregnant with beauty.

We were advised that a hiker had gone missing in the area and were asked to keep a look out.

My goal was to accomplish this trip without complaint.

Psalm 19:14 English Standard Version (ESV)

14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

    be acceptable in your sight,

     O  Lord , my  rock and my  redeemer.

I started praying as we walked and then waited in silence to hear the Lord speak.

Not. Even. Crickets.

No big deal.  Sometimes patience is required.  Sometimes you need to settle in.  God doesn't show up in my time but His.  

There was plenty of beauty and I was very grateful my pack was comfortable.  I was feeling pretty good...capable.  

We stopped for an early lunch at a beautiful spot just after crossing a little stream.  It was the first real rest for the day and I was still struggling to hear the Lord.  I was straining to hear Him in the gentle breezes, in the near blinding beauty and the peaceful calm but a sense of His presence eluded me.  We moved on quicker than I would have liked but the grey sky which was a blessing at the beginning of the day to keep away the heat was now foreboding rain.  

It wasn't long before we were pulling out rain gear. The torrent that assailed us was all part of the adventure to me.  As I walked, I continued to pray but I was getting frustrated.  Why had God called me away to meet with Him if He wasn't going to show up?  So as the rain pattered against my rain jacket hood I said, "It's just you and me here God.  No one is around.  So where are you?  When are you going to speak to me?"

It wasn't even a second before the blinding flash of light and thunder of a near lightening strike had me cowering in fear.  

My response ...

"Is your majesty and power how you are going to speak to me?  I know that you."

I was disappointed.  I was arrogant.  

The hike got harder at this point.  More fallen logs to climb over, the trail turning into a stream and creeks turning into brown water rushing torrents.  We hunkered down several times because the lightening strikes were so near and frequent but eventually we had to choose between trying to move out of the area or waiting it out.  

We finally got to the hut and started hanging things up to dry.  I couldn't fall asleep.  My prayers became tearful plea's.  I begged God to help me.  To meet me.  To speak.  To heal.  


I heard nothing.

The next day promised to be just as long but also hosted gorgeous views.  Our party, afraid of getting rained out again, pushed even harder.  We didn't stop to eat or look at many of the stunning views.  By the time I completed my first major decline my knee was hurting and I was despondent.  

I came upon this aspen and it caught my eye.  How did it get so twisted up?  How did it keep growing?  How did it figure out which direction was up?  

I wondered the same for myself.  I still hadn't heard from the Lord but I was working to keep Psalms 19:14 at the forefront of my mind.  I repeated it over and over.  I didn't want to miss my encounter with the Lord because I had given up too early.  

He never spoke to me.  I never experienced the time of intimacy I had expected.  What do you do when you do everything you can to meet with the Lord and you get attacked instead?  Some day God will reveal what He was doing during this time.  In the mean time, I will trust He was moving on my behalf.  I will trust that He heard every word, saw every tear and walked every mile with me.  

The week before I left, the chapters I was reading in "Unseen" reminded me that the times in the desert, when we are desperately thirsty for God, reveal our deep need for Him.  It expands our awareness and forces our roots to seek deeper in our desperate thirst for God.  Have you sought God and been unable to see Him in your circumstances?  Have you been thirsty for His living water and cried out "Why won't you give me a drink?  I'm desperate for you!" 

John 19:28 English Standard Version (ESV)

The Death of Jesus

28 After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.”

He knows...He knows really well.  

Sometimes adventure is choosing to believe that God is more interested in our good than in our comfort.  For me, that meant I got pretty thirsty.  If my roots of faith stretched a little bit deeper because of it, I have nothing to complain about.  I may not see the benefits "above ground" yet, but the fruit will show soon enough.

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Expectation vs Anticipation

Welcome to part two!  If you haven't read Anticipation vs Expectation, I highly recommend you start with that.

I long for adventure.  It's a big part of how God created me and I'm just now discovering that in my life.  That it's okay to long for the things God made me to long for.  Ultimately, that longing for adventure is a longing for God who wants to take me on an adventure.  I was thinking of that while on vacation with my hubby and the fact that it's the company, not the setting, that makes the trip.  Going away from the "normal" of our every day lives somehow gives us eyes to see the beautiful, the amazing and the exciting, but it's usually the companionship that makes the whole experience valuable.  If you read last weeks blog you will know I had a list of expectations that I was trying to set aside for, the much preferred, anticipation.  Boy, oh boy, did God test me on that list.

If you haven't guessed already, I got to go to Hawaii for the first time in my life. As much as I talked about expectations last week I found some had settled into my mind without my notice which really polarized my experience.  More than that, God exposed those expectations to me before hand but I failed to anticipate He would challenge them.

Hawaii is a study in contrasts. Million-dollar skyscrapers next door to moldering buildings. Islands renowned for their beauty slowly being overrun by those coming to see it.  Awe and sorrow mixed up together.  I expected to see lush tropical landscapes from quaint bungalows beside the sea....yeah, nope.  I also half expected to get a lei when I got off the plane.  That didn't happen either.  Waikiki is packed full of skyscrapers competing for a view of the ocean.  I get it, its' a tourist destination, what did I expect?  I was very pleased with the hotel we chose, they gave me wine when we walked in the door and they were separate from the hustle of "the strip" which suited us just fine.

The first thing we did in Hawaii was to go to church.  God totally orchestrated this and I can't tell you how grateful I am to God for that.  We arrived too late or too early due to some old information but it wasn't "too" anything because we talked to people and ate with them and just generally felt loved and welcomed to a degree I haven't felt in a very long time at church.  I got to sing in worship with a congregation for the first time in years and I straight up wept for joy.  God started our time in Hawaii by reminding us how seldom we appreciate what is going well.  We take "well" for granted.  You walked up those stairs without tripping, isn't that amazing!  You have food in the house, isn't that spectacular?!  We notice when something is absent, not when it's present.  It was a theme that God gave me practical experience in that week. The church itself was also a school and they had been there for about 100 years.  In the middle of their playground was a huge mango tree that might have been as old.

There was a guest speaker who spoke on American Exceptionalism, an amazing speaker and historian, and I totally recommend you give it a listen, which was kind of a fire hose of information, but totally worth it. 

They gave us lei's!  We also had people talk to us for hours after the service and we didn't want to leave!  They also presented their intention as a church to pray for Muslims for 30 days, especially during Ramadan, and had booklets to help guild you through it.  I'm totally committing to this, more on that later, because we have friends who celebrate Ramadan and I love them and want them to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus.  All in all it was amazing and I can't express how much we loved this place.

I don't even remember what else we did that day because we knew nothing would top church.  Oh yeah, we did an escape room...it did not exceed the fun of church.  


I had three days on my own and I expected that I was going to sit on the beach, fully sun-blocked, and catch up on my Bible Studies and have a totally deep time with the Lord as I soaked in the beauty of His creation.  That kind of happened.  Mostly I got sand in my Bible Studies while I watched the ocean and the few people brave enough to join me on the partly cloudy, windy, cool beach.  I thought the weather was perfect.    We were watching the news carefully about the earthquake and increased activity in the volcano and the new vents.  We had made arrangements to visit the Big Island of Hawaii during our trip and wondered about safety while we prayed for the safety of the families directly affected.  Some of what God showed me during this time needs to be fleshed out in blog posts later on, so you all get to enjoy Hawaii with me for a while longer.

I have to admit that up to this point Hawaii felt very...normal.  The city feel of Waikiki could have been anywhere.  The sharp contrast in the poverty level between streets could have been any inner city.  Other than a beach, which I could walk too, I wasn't seeing the lush tropical forest I expected.  Even though I thought I had set my expectations aside, I had kept some unawares.  I'm from a very dry state.  Water is a novelty to me.  Green is a miraculous color.  While the ocean was lovely, and the green beautiful, it didn't feel amazing.  I expected...I anticipated, amazing.

Had I trained myself to see amazing in my every day to the point where I was unable to recognize the miraculously lovely?  Had I desensitized myself to adventure by seeking it in every circumstance?

Nope.

I was failing to see that the very list of expectations I had exposed last week were being challenged.  Looking back over that list I can see that God made sure every one of those expectations were broken in one way or another so I had a chance to see what I would do.  I had been practicing seeing disappointment and hardship as an exciting adventure at home but it's a totally different animal when you are not at home.  Why is that?  Why do we expect things to be different when we're away?  We are the same and we go wherever we are.  How often are our disappointments based on the belief that things should be different?

There were plenty of disappointments on the trip.  I expected to see a volcano.  I expected to be awed by unfamiliar beauty.  I expected to stay healthy.  As in most things in life, all of those expectations are a little more complicated than the few words I boiled them down too.  I was disappointed, not in the trip, but in myself for struggling to have a good attitude.  I was living as if I expected vacation meant it would be effortless.  That it would come without struggle.  That I would rest from all the "good work" I had done in enlightening myself with God's wisdom.  Yeah, God disillusioned me of that pretty quickly on vacation.  You don't own the lessons God has taught you until the test.  How insufferable would I have been if I had walked serenely through my amazingly perfect vacation, I shudder to think.

The day before we left, as I was walking to the third location on the airport complex looking for my glasses case that had my boarding pass for the airplane of what could not even be charitably called a "comedy" of errors, God reminded me to thank Him.  To thank Him for the errors, the mistakes, the fumbles and the hardships.  He reminded me to thank Him for all the things that were going right in that moment of frustration.  Praise the Lord, He took a "failure" of a day and helped me put on joy.  He redeemed my day not with what I expected  but with what He anticipated.  I almost missed out on wonder.  I almost lost the adventure.  I forgot for a moment that adventure almost always comes from the unexpected.
 

Because sometimes adventure is no toilet paper, swollen ankles, sunburns, lost important items, travel hiccups, lost cars, lost CC scares and wasted money but it's also my hubby tracking down ice, seeing lava, exploring sights we wouldn't have seen, finding the CC at a restaurant after a whole day, someone at church on mother's day asking me if it was okay to wish me a happy mothers day even though he didn't know me or my situation and delighting in what's going well even when not everything is.

Because no matter where you are, God is there with you and He delights in us delighting in Him!

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