What is Rest

I am finally going on a real adventure.  If you've been keeping up with my blog, this will sound very strange to you.  I've traveled a lot this year.  I have had tons of new and exciting things happen.  It all started when God gave me a glimpse into what He has for my future.  This doesn't happen to me very often.  God doesn't usually give me a heads up.  I know it's because I am firmly in the "Martha" camp.  When God gives me a nudge, I go into extreme prep mode.  I am so excited to have a plan to follow that I often forget my best resource and guide.  I suspect that is why, after giving me a glimpse into what He has planned, God asked me to rest.  I've talked about it on the blog, so I won't go over it again but I have been struggling this year with the question "What is rest?"  

It's been clear that God is convicting me about my definition of rest.  I fully confess that my definition of rest is "the chance to catch up".  Vacations, weekends away, I think of them as places to hide so I can finish the backlog of tasks that have built up because I couldn't say no to people.  I fear becoming lazy, or resting wrong, more than I have feared the Lord.  Over the last couple of weeks I have been having random encounters with Godly people in my life, and in my Bible study, that have brought this problem up.  

So I'm walking away.  I'm walking away from the need to fulfill any need I come across.  I'm walking away from technology.  I'm walking away from the list of things I have moved too far up on my priority list.  I am walking away from noise.  I have fasted from noise before, you can read about that here, and I expect it is going to be terribly hard.  Giving up the things I have attached my purpose and significance to is going to be hard.  That's the reason why I'm giving up all the things I distract myself with so I haven't had to address these things.  That's the reason why I have to give up these things so I can actually hear my God.

So, I am truly going on an adventure.  A quest into the deepest, darkest wilds.  I am going to leave the beaten path, the familiar trails of my life, and stop trying to make adventure happen.  I am going to dive into aloneness with intention.  To sit in the stillness.  It's going to be full of frustration, tears and sorrow but this adventure is going to teach me how to exchange those things for joy, contentment and the ability to recognize treasures of greater worth.  

Has the Lord been convicting you of something lately?  Is He asking you to do something you don't want to do?  I get it.  Let's do this together.  

Monument vs Standing Stone

Many of us look back at our lives and can pick out the bad decisions, big and small, that have become monuments to our failures. Sometimes we make the monuments so big we can't move past them.  Sometimes we miss the point of the monument altogether.  

One of my big failures was college. I knew what school I was supposed to go to since my freshman year of high school.  My mother will tell you she hated the school I chose because it was so far away.  By the time I graduated high school and headed off, I had no other direction.  I was sure that was where God wanted me to go.  I went for about a semester before I failed out and had to be shipped back to my parents in shame. There were a whole lot of bad decisions during that time but one of them has come to my mind lately because God has made me aware of the fact that I'm doing it again. I decided to go to college to become a nurse. Was I keen about caring for people, good at math and science, and excited about the field of medicine? NOPE! I didn't like most of those things, and I was not good at them. Why did I choose to pursue nursing. Because I wanted to be a medical missionary. I wanted to be ready and willing to go wherever God wanted me to go. The period of failure that followed left me angry and confused. How could God abandon me like that? I was doing all this for Him! I had to come to grips with the fact that God never intended for me to be a missionary to foreign lands, much less a medical one. I looked at the desires of my heart and misinterpreted how it would look and made the very large mistake of thinking that's what God wanted me to do. 

So often we hold onto the verses that tell us God will give us the desires of our hearts, and that's true, but we fail to remember the other parts of those verses and chapters.  We have to ground ourselves in the Lord first.  To delight in Him, then He will bring about giving us the opportunities to fulfill the desires He designed us with.  Not only that, but God is going to bring things about how He wants, no matter what we have planned.  No matter what or how we thought it would happen.  

My mother told me today that she never understood why I went to college to pursue something I hated. I was momentarily stunned as I said to myself "I was pursuing what I thought God wanted me to do" and I realized I can remember three distinct times when I have said that. College, adoption, and writing. Three major turning points. I don't know if I was supposed to go to college but I can tell you I met my lifelong best friend there. Her family practically adopted me and when my hubby was desperate for a job and we had to leave our state and our families, God provided one 30 minutes from her. I don't know if I was supposed to fail and give up college but I can tell you that I found my husband and my talent when I got home. I have no idea if I was supposed to pursue adoption but I know God has a plan. 

Major milestones have been marked by this pattern. Get a nudge from the Lord, create a picture of how I think that will look, and then go to the extreme to fulfill it.  The beautiful part of a God who is always teaching and growing us into who He designed us to be is the fact that He knows us, knows what we need to learn and keeps giving us refresher courses. As I stand on the precipice of pursuing "What I think God wants me to do" I'm grateful for the reminder today that I need to make sure I'm not more focus on what I can do for the Lord.  

All the hesitation, doubt and caveats I have being battling this year were because I was trying to do more than what God wanted me to do when I knew that what God wanted was for me to spend time with Him. He specifically asked me to "do" nothing. To rest. I've been fighting that hard. I don't want to be lazy. I want to be preparing. I don't want to be rushing to the deadline because I didn't give myself adequate prep time. So the little hint, the gift of a redemptive work for the future, I turned into a mission statement for life. I took that one thing and turned it into a college prep course full of requirements, standards of success and work. The whole time moaning like a toddler about when rest time was going to be over already. I know what God has given me. I know that what He is asking of me right now is not a spiritual workout regimen to prepare for the race. He is asking me to spend time with the source of my fuel. 


Life gives us plenty of chances for self reflection if we want them. I am going to use this moment to turn the monument I was building to failure into a standing stone of remembrance. To remind myself that I tend to focus on what I can "do" for God instead of spending time with Him. To remind myself to strip away my expectations of what I think comes next and let God teach me at the pace He intends. To remind myself that my future is in God's loving hands and it will be for my good, one way or another. I  choose to turn those monuments to my failure into standing stones of remembrance of what the Lord has done.

What about Bob? Parable of the Talents

I hope you will indulge me a little today.  I want to do a little speculation.  I've been thinking about the parable of the talents from Matthew 25:14-30.  I've been thinking and pondering about this particular parable a lot this year.  Why?  Well, I'm trying to figure out what it means for me.  So today we're going to ask ourselves, What about Bob?

Matthew 25:14-30 English Standard Version (ESV)The Parable of the Talents14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants[a]and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents,[b] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money.19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.[c] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

What if there was a fourth servant...Bob lets say, who went and took his talent to the casino and blew it all.  What if he didn't just hold on to the talent he was given but tried to invest it to great and utter failure?  What would the master have said then?  We look at the master’s response to this third nameless servant and wonder, why in the world is he so hard on the poor guy?  At least he didn't lose it, squander it or steal it.  Right?  Can we squander the gifts God has given us?  Can we squander them so thoroughly that we lose them forever?  

Speculation has the danger of taking us to unhelpful places and so I want to be careful about the questions I give permission to bounce around my head.  For me, the key is to ask the question, ponder it, see if God answers and then let it go.  I have gotten in the habit of writing my questions down as a physical act of getting them out of my brain and acknowledging that God will answer in His time (even if that answer is, “it’s not for you to know”). 

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I love asking questions.  It’s part of who God created me to be!  For me, asking the questions helps draw me deeper into figuring out who God is and who I am in Him. It is how God sheds light on areas He is working on and it helps me acknowledge holes in my spiritual defenses that the enemy can exploit.  The trick to being a question asker is to have a firm foundation in the truth.  There is no question or speculation that your brain or the enemy can whisper that will shake you if you are rooted deeply in Christ.  I ask questions so I won’t be surprised when questions are asked of me, so my faith won’t be shaken by some clever twist of words thrown at me by someone more intelligent.

Eph 4:14So that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.

So here are the questions I’m asking today.  Can we abuse the "talents" God has given us?  Can we misuse His gifting?  Are we guaranteed success (ie, a return) if we invest the talents God has given us?

The parable of the talents is mostly used to apply to money, and rightly so because that's what a "talent" is in this context of scripture.  But God has been focusing my eyes on this story because it means more than money.  It is about investment.  Investment is defined as an act of devoting time, effort or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result.  Learning, watching, practicing and probing.  If we are going to invest well it requires we gain experience and knowledge and then step out in faith.  Modern experience tells us that it is indeed possible to invest poorly but with enough attention, research, practice and knowledge you are more likely to see an increase over time.  In light of that, I look back on my questions and speculations and can feel the smile of God as I begin to piece together a deeper picture of what this parable means. 

I've been using this knowledge to inspire me to write.  If you're reading this blog right now you will see the evidence of that prompting ;)  I believe God has given me a glimpse into what He is calling me to in the future.  I have been working to stay still and be all present with where God has me right now, because I haven't been given the green light to proceed yet, but that doesn't mean I can't start flexing the muscles I think God is going to call me to use.  This is the heart of investment.

How about you?  Do you have questions when you read scripture?  Are there areas of your life God is calling you to invest towards the future He has planned?

  

How do I respond to tragedy

If you spend any time on social media you are going to come up against some strong opinions, especially around times of tragedy.  In a fallen world, and with the increased access to news and opinions, we will be confronted constantly by tragedy. I've been thinking about that a lot over the last month.  We've had some national tragedies that have once again polarized public opinion.  I've talked about social media fighting before on my blog but the recent slew of tragedies have revealed a disturbing new trend that has had me doing some serious soul searching.  

From my little corner of the internet, the overwhelming sentiment I saw was (expletives deleted) to "take our thoughts and prayers and @#^$%# it".  Our nation is mad.  They're mad at us.  

Or at least that's how it looks.  The world is mad because things are getting worse, not better.  The world is mad because they believe the world should be getting better.  The world should be more enlightened, understanding and intelligent.  Sadly, the world is not following the Utopian path that Star Trek set out for us.  The more knowledge we gain, the less understanding we extend.  In the battle cry for tolerance, the world has become more intolerant than ever.  

But that's not what I wanted to talk about today.  The best thing about this adventure that God has me on right now is that it is full of a dialog of questions.  He's asking me questions and I'm asking Him questions.  Of the many questions He's asked me to explore about myself and the world, some of them have been hard.  As followers of Christ, we know that the world will continue to degrade until Christ returns to establish His eternal kingdom. For years I have viewed the worlds tragedies in light of the grim prophecies of scripture and the firm belief that a life without God is lived in bondage to sin. 

I somehow took that as permission to take a step back from the world, and it's tragedies, and offer a sympathetic grimace and nothing else. After all, we're called to be in the world and not of it.  I focused on the "not of it" part.  This world is not our home.  

But when God asks you a question...there is weight behind it. And the question God has been asking me is this.  How do I respond to tragedy?  I've been wrestling with this question because I suspect that I have neglected the first part of "in this world but not of it" ...we are "in the world".  This is still where we live for now even if it's not our home.  I've heard that phrase used but it had been a while since I had actually read the scripture it was paraphrased from.
  

John 17:14-16 New International Version (NIV)

14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.

This is why study of God's word is important.  No matter how many times you've read the Bible in a year or how long you've been going to church, you should know what the Word of God says for yourself.  Not only are there rich treasures to be discovered but there are profound truths that can't help but affect how we live.  

Matthew 22:36-4 New International Version (NIV)

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

So what does it all mean?  The world just wants something to be done.  So what can I do?   What should I do?  It all depends on what you think love is.

This is a heavy question and it is very easy to tell ourselves that nothing can be done, so why bother.  Don't do that.  Take a breath and think about this with me.  God only asks us to do nothing under one circumstance.  When we are being persecuted for His sake.  This has taken some serious time in prayer, some serious time in the Word and some very terrifying steps outside of my comfort zone.  We can and should do nothing when being persecuted because how we have lived out God's Word will speak for us. 1 Peter 2: 11-25 has a whole lot to say and I strongly urge you to look it up and read it for yourself but I'm going to pull out one verse.

1 Peter 2: 12

 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Did you catch that? Good lives...good deeds.  We aren't saved by works, it says so in Eph 2:9, but we are still called to bear fruit.  To be a witness.  To make disciples.  Our lives are supposed to be living testimony.

When I was young, and going to Christian camps, we were often asked; if Christians were ever being brought before the courts for being Christian's, would there be enough evidence to convict you?  That question hasn't rung in my soul for many years but it is now.  

Our place in this world is one of action.  Love, kindness and humility; be, go, do, make...our words are action words.  

James 1:22 NIV

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

I hope you will consider thinking through these questions with me.  What should you be "do"ing?  What does love look like?  What speaks louder, sharing your opinions on social media or putting love into action?  How does your life look to the outside world?  Does it look any different than the world?  Have you cloistered yourself away from the world?  Think it through, ask God and then wait to see what He says.  I'm not asking these questions to convict or accuse.  I'm asking them of you and of me as a litmus test.  As an opening for God to enter in and start a dialog.  To give us all a chance to do some spring cleaning in our hearts, minds and souls.  

 

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