New Years Changes

We spent the last few weeks of December looking at resolutions.  Now, firmly resolved, we stare 2019 in the face and ask ourselves 'is this going to work?'  Lets set aside that fear laced question and instead look at what we are going to change.  If you didn't give yourself enough of a head start on your resolutions then you've probably been thinking about them or implementing them this week.  I've been thinking about mine a lot.

2018 was about rest.  God has been teaching and testing me in this area to remind me of the importance of obedience in rest.  The last quarter of the year was more intense in this area as God asked me to give up noise, technology and entertainment.  I spent a lot of the year wondering when it was going to be over...the rest, not the year.  Even in those moments of impatience God was teaching me how like a child I am.  The 'are we there yets' of my spiritual journey are so similar to the impatience I've seen in little ones.  God took great care to keep telling me to rest, to wait, to relax, to stop worrying, to stop being anxious and to not fret.

Near the end of December, God started to reveal what He was going to be working in 2019.  It's going to be a lot.  It's going to be a ton of learning, growing, and working.  Just thinking about it got me all worked up and ready to whip out to do lists, organizational aspiration sheets and a paper bag to breath into.  Okay, maybe not that last one.  I like being busy.  God taught me a lot in 2018 about where I find my value.  I know I was finding my worth and value in what I could do.  Without that (ugh, rest) I had to meet with Jesus about what that meant.  Being released from rest was like lifting the first gate at the races.  I near ran into the fence in my haste.  Because God gave me a year of rest, a year of coming back to a baseline of peace, I know that my resolutions are going to have to reflect what I learned last year.  In anticipation of what I think God will do with my year, I have made some resolutions and goals based on growing towards areas that I want to see if God has given me a passion for, to remind me of what God taught me was important in 2018 and to test doors and see where God is moving.

So what does that all mean.  I'm going to be writing more and blogging less.  Dotted lines, at least for now, is going to be moving to a once a month format.  Don't worry.  I have a year or mores worth of blogs for you to go back through if you need something to read ;)  In addition, Dotted Lines is going to be starting a YouTube channel!  Why?  Well, a few reasons.  One of them being the fact that humor and sarcasm tend to read better with facial expressions and I might translate better to you, the audience, face to face as it were.  I have some exciting publishing and contest news to announce already for 2019 but I have to hold my hat a little bit.  Since submitting more articles and contest pieces is one of my resolutions, I think that bodes well for the year ;)  My final resolution is to have my priorities straight.  In other words, time with God has to come first, without limits.  My time is His and without that source I won't be able to create, stay unafraid or hold on to peace.   That's my top priority this year.  To approach the potentially frantic with the sense of peace and calm that only comes from time spent with the Prince of Peace.  It is going to be a straight up test of what I have learned in 2018 so I am praying and working hard to establish some good habits to support this resolve.

Video seems to be the direction for the year.  I am going to be doing a lot of learning in this area through multiple outlets as I serve others and work it out for myself.  It's going to be tempting to fall back on negative self talk (I hate feeling dumb and I am going to feel dumb a lot as I learn) and frantically trying to complete an ever growing to-do list.  That's why my word for 2019 is Balance. 

So what is your word for 2019?  Have you started well this week or do you need to reset?  Either way, I hope you will join me.  The mission of Dotted Lines is still to embark on the amazing adventure of searching for God in my every day.  That won't change no matter where we move!

The Fast is Over

For those of you that have been following along (Hi mom) I cut out technology six days a week and added in a noise fast for just over 40 days.  Why I decided to do this over NaNoWriMo I don't know.  I blame the fact that I didn't start it in November, it just lasted through November, so I forgot about national novel writing month until about a week before.  I've talked about why I entered into this fast but I thought I would share some of what I learned.

Fasting has been on the Christian radar for a while but the diet community has latched on to the idea as well, siting the benefits of intermittent fasting to give the body a break and reset your metabolism and supposedly give you more energy.

The principle has been a part of God's plan from the beginning.  During creation, God established a sabbath, when we would submit ourselves under God's sovereignty and rest.  Our minds and our bodies need these periods of rest. 

In a year where God has called me to rest, I was not terribly please to find God was asking me to give up more.  Resting is the worst, right!  I am so grateful my Patient Teacher hasn't given up.  We live in a world of indulgence.  Our culture is cluttered, over stimulated and impatient.  We don't even recognize how starved for silence we are.  Now that the fast is over I find myself longing for the simplicity of quiet time spent with my Savior.  Having the ability to distract myself doesn't mean that I should.  Having a long to do list doesn't mean I have to get them all done today.  Fasting reminds us that the priorities we have established aren't necessarily the right ones.  Taking a step back is a great way to reset. 

Reset your body, reset your mind.  What do you need a fast from?

Desire of my heart

At the beginning of this year I started on a journey of rest.  I'm not sure what I expected but I don't think that I could have expected that in the silence God would show me the true desires of my heart.  Nor could I have expected that the first one would be adventure.  In the midst of rest, to discover that my longing for adventure was given by God, has been a delight.  God wasn't done, as he never is in teaching us. and He recently revealed to me that the second big desire of my heart is to have purpose.  Why am I telling you this?  For most of my youth I was confused about what God meant by Psalm 34:7.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Okay, when I say youth...I mean my middle age too.  I longed for adventure and purpose and might have pegged those as desires but I would have classified them as selfish or worldly.  It wouldn't have occurred to me that they were given to me by God and that He was how they would be met and fulfilled.  I focused on the first part of the verse and figured if I delighted myself in the Lord I would never lack.  While that has been true, I'm seeing it in a different light today.  I feel like God has given me new desires to fill my heart.  Not new in the sense that I've never felt their pull before but new like a clean pair of clothes.  I have been trying to fill those big two desires in my life  without God.  It has soiled and worn down those desires as I sought to fill those longings in ways other than God.  I feel like God has unwrapped my favorite childhood toy that I had ruined and now it's all shiny and new.  I know it's a little early to be opening Christmas presents but ... 

He has given me desires and they are indeed fulfilled as I delight in Him.

Obligatory Gratitude Post, or is it?

This week was Thanksgiving.  Today is Black Friday.   Are you feelin it?  Man, I sure am.  After a month of spending lavish amounts of time with God and writing, my time was not my own this week and I am spent.  Sometimes, that happens.  Life gets busy.  I've had a month of practicing "Be Still" and "Don't Fret" and that is one of the many things I was grateful for this week.  I've got a long way to go.  But this week Isure was thankful for the practice. The practice of finding peace and calm amidst the most dramatic of adventures.  The practice of letting go of what I think is necessary in favor of what God says is necessary.  This week, that means my blog is going to be super short because that is the amount of time I had to spend.  I will save my eloquence, real or imagined, for those who have seen me at my most dramatic, who love me even when they are not impressed by my shenanigans and who laugh at and with me when I need it most. 


That's why I wanted to talk to you about Friendsgiving.  I have a group of friends that have been gathering after Thanksgiving for over a decade.  It started with the lament that our parents always did the heavy lifting on Thanksgiving and we could never be adults and practice making a Thanksgiving meal.  We decided that was a great idea and what else were we going to do with all those Thanksgiving left overs than to share them with the people we wanted to spend time with.  I suggested we make it a murder mystery dinner party and thus our decade long Friendsgiving adventures began.  Over the years we've had a traditional Charlie Brown meal (yes I mean toast and popcorn and all that other stuff) and full on Thanksgiving extravaganza's.  Some times we switch genders just for fun.  Yes, some of my guy friends make very ugly women.  The group has gotten bigger and smaller as life and circumstances change but every year we gather, dress in ridiculous costumes, suffer through truly terrible scripts and laugh until we cry.

In all of our changing circumstances, shapes and situations, we gather.  We gather with our family and we gather with our friends.  We acknowledge that our lives wouldn't be the same with out them.  We shun the world and it's stress fueled impatience in favor of a good meal with those we love.  We don't rush it.  We value it and savor it.  We celebrate having found those just weird enough to think our weird is awesome.

We are intentional about it every year.  We look forward to it, we brag about it, we share our joy and make room on our calendars no matter what.  I may go a little crazy creating costumes for me and my spouse, which is totally what I will be getting back to for my second all nighter in a row, but I couldn't be happier.

I hope your Thanksgiving was allergen free, devoid of flair ups, free from unwelcome drama and full of the peace of God that surpasses all understanding.  I also hope you are thinking more about who you haven't seen in a while than what stores are having sales.  I hope you'll give them a call, invite them to coffee or over for games.  If you're super cool like me and my friends, then consider inviting them over for a little mystery, a lot of laughter and plenty of hokey costumes. 

 But even if murder mystery dinner parties aren't your thing, find your own thing.  If you're into interpretive dance, do that!  If you're into shadow puppet historical reenactment, well that is just way better with a crowd, am I right!  Don't lose sight of what's important.  People over tasks!

These are my people and I love them.  I couldn't be more grateful they are in my life.








Just as a side note, these aren't all the photos, and they aren't in order by date.  It's just a smattering.  If you promise to invite some folks over, I'll share this years photo next week ;)

Rest you Say?

This weeks blog is going to be...different.  If this is your first time here then you won't notice so ... sorry for when things go back to normal, I guess.  If you read last weeks blog, What is Rest, then you'll know that I am on a break, a sabbatical if you will.
 

I know, you're confused now.  How is there a blog?  Why has there been a post reminding me that this little slice of blogdom has been launched?  All good questions.  When I set off on this adventure last week I asked myself some questions and I had some questions asked of me.  Walking away from technology and noise can be interpreted as throwing the baby out with the bath water. So I wanted to do two things on the blog this week. 

1. I wanted to share the plan
2. I wanted to share what I did 

First, the plan

I do not plan on becoming a hermit.  I tend towards being a recluse as it is.  No, my goal was to be open for fellowship.  In my opinion, placing rules on a time of companionship is very counter productive and very hipster christian.  So, I didn't require others to go noise free to be around me or even mention to my friends and family that I was going on a technology and noise fast.  This isn't supposed to be about what I can do.  So I'm trying to stay very un-rigid.  I also decided to give myself one day of computer time and see how I did with that.  This was partly because I meet with a writing group one day a week and partially because I wanted to see if I could treat my time with technology in a healthy way.  It would force me to prioritize what I was going to do on my computer day.  So that was the plan.  In my time alone; no noise, no computer, no TV, no search engines.  I wanted to give myself a little boredom, a lot of quiet and the practice time I need to be still.  If the blog looks a little boring today and lacks the fanfare of social media posts to announce it....well, that's because I had to set some priorities.  I chose companionship over tasks and I practiced letting go of what I thought should be done.

Second, what I did

I wanted to spend a lot of time in God's word.  That's a given.  I started out working on my current studies but one of the questions really drew my attention to the question, what is rest?  What does God mean by rest?  Normally, we would assume it means you don't work but scripture also talks about allowing yourself to take care of what's needful during sabbath (ie rescue your donkey).  So what is rest?  That question led me on an old fashioned word search thanks to the back of my Bible and not any fancy website or search engine.  I didn't even ask *insert random gender non-specific robot voiced assistant*.  So, I thought I would share where that led me and what I learned.
The verses that started it all were Psalm 37: 7-11, 34.

        Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!  Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!  Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.  For the evil doers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the Land.  In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.  But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.  Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when he wicked are cut off.

Be still, wait patiently, don't fret or be angry, hope in the Lord, keep His ways.  From here on, I'm going to give you the scripture reference and what I learned.  Like I said, I'm prioritizing my time.  Please look up the verses, or do your own word study on rest.  I think you'll be surprised.

• Ex 3:12-18  Rest is holy, consecrated, celebrated, a covenant, abstaining from work, a sign
• Ex 33:14  Rest is given my God, something God gives
• Josh 14:15  Rest is the cessation of conflict
• Josh 21:44  Rest is peace
• Ps 33  Rest is hope & faith in our great God, rejoicing
• Ps 62:1-2, 5  Rest is only found in God, or security and our hope
• Ps 90:17  Rest is settled upon us, seeped in, draped over, soaked in
• Ps 91  Rest is a place of refuge
• Is 30:15  Rest is quietness and trust, repentance and a guiltless mind
• Is 32:17-18  Rest is confidence, security, peace and being undisturbed
• Jer 6:16  Rest is asked for and comes from walking in God's way  

        This one I am going to write out because I want to memorize it myself.

    This is what the Lord says:  Stand at the crossroads and look;  ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will     find rest for your souls.  But you said "We will not walk in it."

• Mt 11:28  Rest is a release from burden
• 2 Cor 12:9-10  Rest is weakness, laid down in humility, for the sake of glorifying God's strength
• Heb 4:9  Rest is belief; utter, absolute belief
• Heb 4:10  Rest is ceasing from work or industry
• Rev 14:13  Rest is ceasing from your labors

This is a much richer, broader, and deeper definition of rest.  This is something I can practice.

What is Rest

I am finally going on a real adventure.  If you've been keeping up with my blog, this will sound very strange to you.  I've traveled a lot this year.  I have had tons of new and exciting things happen.  It all started when God gave me a glimpse into what He has for my future.  This doesn't happen to me very often.  God doesn't usually give me a heads up.  I know it's because I am firmly in the "Martha" camp.  When God gives me a nudge, I go into extreme prep mode.  I am so excited to have a plan to follow that I often forget my best resource and guide.  I suspect that is why, after giving me a glimpse into what He has planned, God asked me to rest.  I've talked about it on the blog, so I won't go over it again but I have been struggling this year with the question "What is rest?"  

It's been clear that God is convicting me about my definition of rest.  I fully confess that my definition of rest is "the chance to catch up".  Vacations, weekends away, I think of them as places to hide so I can finish the backlog of tasks that have built up because I couldn't say no to people.  I fear becoming lazy, or resting wrong, more than I have feared the Lord.  Over the last couple of weeks I have been having random encounters with Godly people in my life, and in my Bible study, that have brought this problem up.  

So I'm walking away.  I'm walking away from the need to fulfill any need I come across.  I'm walking away from technology.  I'm walking away from the list of things I have moved too far up on my priority list.  I am walking away from noise.  I have fasted from noise before, you can read about that here, and I expect it is going to be terribly hard.  Giving up the things I have attached my purpose and significance to is going to be hard.  That's the reason why I'm giving up all the things I distract myself with so I haven't had to address these things.  That's the reason why I have to give up these things so I can actually hear my God.

So, I am truly going on an adventure.  A quest into the deepest, darkest wilds.  I am going to leave the beaten path, the familiar trails of my life, and stop trying to make adventure happen.  I am going to dive into aloneness with intention.  To sit in the stillness.  It's going to be full of frustration, tears and sorrow but this adventure is going to teach me how to exchange those things for joy, contentment and the ability to recognize treasures of greater worth.  

Has the Lord been convicting you of something lately?  Is He asking you to do something you don't want to do?  I get it.  Let's do this together.  

Spiritual Thrill Seeking

Living your adventurous life everyday is hard. If you're anything like me, you want to keep things fresh and in the present so you don't lose the important in the mundane.  Since the focus of my year has been adventure, I've been seeking external experiences to go along with the internal adventure that's happening.  Some friends have questioned this trend because it has brought on some physical reminders of the health challenges I face.  They used the term "spiritual thrill seeking".  I have to admit that I smile a little as I picture myself doing Biblical Parkour.  I love that I have friends and family that don't shy away from keeping me accountable.  Criticism, constructive or otherwise, is a great opportunity to consider the issue before the Lord and determine if you're confident or convicted.  

For me, I haven't felt convicted, I've felt warned.  My quest for adventure is truly a manifestation of the adventure that is happening spiritually.  It is, however, important to consider: how do you know how far is too far?  Can seeking God turn into thrill seeking?  Is it possible to lose sight of God in the midst of an adventure with Him?  I think we all would have to admit that the answer is yes.  Anything, absolutely anything, can become an idol because an idol is anything that takes our focus off of God.    

I don't want you to get the mistaken impression that adventure means hiking up mountains, surfing on an extreme wave or slaloming down a double black diamond.  Thrill seeking is being eager to take part in exciting activities that involve physical risk.  So, lets tweak that definition to being eager to take part in exciting activities that involve spiritual risk.  Spiritual thrill seeking isn't an extreme sport but it is an extreme.

So let's look at some warning signs that your adventure has become more focused on your experience than it is on God.

Warning sign #1

Trying to recreate a spiritual experience based on someone else's experience.  

I have to admit that when I was *cough* slightly younger than I am now I wondered why the great spiritual experiences I was hearing other women have weren't happening to me.  Some had dreams, some spoke in tongues, some heard from the Lord, the list goes on.  I assumed I wasn't spiritual enough or wasn't mature enough.      Any time we shift our eyes away from the One we have a relationship with to someone else's relationship, we are entering dangerous waters.  We think if we can just do the right things, we'll have the spiritual experiences we've heard other people have.  Here is what is important to remember when you catch yourself doing that.  Your relationship with God isn't about producing the right experiences to show off to others.  Your relationship with God is, wait for it, your relationship with God.  

Warning sign #2

Trying to recreate the circumstances of a previous spiritual experience.

If you have had an undeniable encounter with God or a time of closeness that was a balm to your soul, it's hard to sit comfortably in those times when God is silent.  I know I have wondered in the past if those times of silence were a punishment, if I had fallen away from my Savior, and so I frantically try and go back to what "worked" before.  I utterly spent myself in volunteering, giving, trying to be more selfless, and found the silence more condemning than ever.  I have stopped trying to fix the silence.  Trying to recreate a spiritual experience never works because, surprisingly, God is not a pet we can train to do tricks on command.  I have learned over the years that the times of silence are just as necessary to my spiritual growth as those times when God feels so very present.  Those moments of silence teach us about our deep need for Him and force us to stretch farther and go deeper to seek Him and abide.

Warning sign #3

Trying to shape your spiritual experience

We often get an idea in our head about what a  "spiritual person" looks like.    I know for me it is an idealized picture of beauty, peace, cleanliness and solitude followed by smiling kindness, wisdom, intelligence and selflessness.  What does your ideal "spiritual person" look like?  Now ask yourself, are you chasing after an ideal or are you chasing after God?  

This picture I have in my head accuses me of how far I am falling short.  It pushes me to "accomplish" a spiritual life like I can achieve it with the right combination of to-do lists and discipline.  It drives me to seek out ways to fix what's wrong with me.  Here's the thing.  God is working on us at exactly the right pace, at exactly the right time, in exactly the right way.  He doesn't have a picture of an ideal spiritual person He's trying to accomplish. He has a picture of YOU perfected by Him.     


1 Corinthians 9:24-25 ESV

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize?  So run that you may obtain it.  Every athlete exercises self-control in all things.  They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

Spiritual thrill seeking is dangerous because it shifts the focus of why.  Why are you in the race.  It changes what you see as the prize at the end.  Why you run the race will make all the difference in what you are pursuing and how you go about it.  Is it the acclaim?  The fame and notoriety?  Is it the reward?  Is it the emotional or physical high?  Or is it running full out to jump into the arms of a heavenly Father who is waiting with arms outstretched to hold us?  

So what are you running toward?