Life is weird

It's been a while since I was able to sit for a few minutes and think.  I'd like to say this is a busy time of year for me but as I have a few minutes to sit and think I realize that is a less than true statement.  I don't have a non-busy time of year.  If I'm not in the midst of an event, I'm planning for and preparing an event.
This past weekend I attended a two day conference that was waaaaaaay too new age-y woo woo for me but despite the affirmations to get in touch with my inner orphan I did learn something God has been trying to wack into my brain for a long time.
I take service very seriously.  Any hint of personal laziness is anathema to me.  As my life has gotten busier I've had to whip my body past it's breaking point as my body's breaking point keeps getting shorter.  I'm sure you think that's ridiculous.

Part if it is my drive to help.  It's my purpose and I LOVE having purpose.  The other part is an impending feeling that my time is short.

Today I'm going to get another MRI.  I've been having some additional symptoms besides the headaches and fatigue.  I've been having dizzy spells.  Some of them while driving.  The thing in my brain is probably nothing.  I'm probably having more symptoms because I'm not getting the message that I need to stop treating every new task as an impending deadline that only I can accomplish.  I've got to relax or I'm going to kill myself (or make myself miserable enough to wish I was).

Each one of us has personal drives that are part of our makeup.  We are all different.  This weekends class, while not enjoyable for me, was full of people trying to identify who they are so they could set themselves back in balance.  I can respect that and it's a message I need to listen too.  What comes next can feel impossible.  How can I just turn it off?  Time and attention.  What is the Lord trying to teach you right now.  Does what He's asking of you seem impossible?  Have you failed before?  Shake it off and look to your Savior.  Don't shackle yourself with past failures.  Get up (or in my case sit down) and pay attention.  

At the Speed of Life

Being a minion is always hard work.  Time flies by at an alarming rate of schedules, deadlines and innovation.  The first challenge is always placing healthy boundaries so that the ever unmet needs of a charitable organization (shaped by the ever growing number of people they serve) doesn't burn you out.  The second challenge is managing the effects of long term service.  Pastors and ministry leaders take sabbatical for a reason.  Service is exhausting.

I have some wanderlust and my fingers itch to be doing something.  For me, that means that I tend to get my fingers busy doing something and then I'm in direct conflict with my wanderlust.  I know that sometimes life is about repetition.  So how do you keep your charity work from feeling like drudgery.

Doesn't that word sound awful.  Drudgery.  It makes me feel exhausted just saying it.  That idea of slogging through an endless mud pit just trying to find the energy to keep lifting one foot and then another to make your way forward.

Life is about relationship not tasks.  For a personality like mine, that's really hard to remember.  I have to work at remembering to focus on the people I care about.  In the past, I've tried to schedule time but lately I've noticed that I'm remembering to put less and less people on my schedule.  I'm already exhausted and I find the effort of connecting exhausting.  Is it any wonder that my service feels like a drudgery?

If you're feeling like work, service or life is a drudgery I encourage you to take a look at the priority you've placed on relationship in your life.  This isn't about being a social butterfly or pretending to like people you don't.  This is about plugging into the life giving resources God has given you.  Most of us need a reminder to shift our focus solely from tasks to the people we are ultimately doing the tasks for and with.  I'm not saying you lose sight of the finish line, I'm asking you to take your eyes from the line and look into the cheering crowd, glance at your fellow racers and soften your gaze.

Have you see this video.  It's showing different camera focus.  It's a great analogy for life. Sometimes, laser focus is necessary.  It allows you to see a limited amount in great detail.  Sometimes a wider angle is necessary.  It gives you more information in more general detail.  We get stuck seeing things from our favorite perspective.  If you're finding that life is feeling a little drudge-y, ask yourself where your relationships are?  Put your effort into breathing life and focus into your people.  

When was the last time you ask your friends how they were doing and really listened?  When was the last time you gazed into your loved ones face and told them how much you love them?  When was the last time you had a little fun with real people in the same room as you?  

Yeah, me too.  So that's my goal.  I need to shake off the exhaustion that comes from drudgery and reach out to the people in my life.  I need them and they need me.  I'm not serving people with tasks, I'm serving them with care and attention to the fact that they are people.  

Inner Circle

When I was young I always strove to be the teachers pet.  I wanted to be on the inner circle of the people I admired.  I think everyone wants to be on the inner circle to one degree or another.  It's all a matter of whose inner circle you want to be in.

I was reading the parable of the sower today from the gospels and it struck me that I wanted to be on that inner circle.  Mark 4:10-11a says "When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables.  He told them,..."
There were so many people around him when he told the parable he had to sit in a boat to keep all the people on the shore.  Later, when the crowds had left, He explained what he meant.  The thought popped into my head as I read this that I would be that person hanging around just to be on the fringes of the inner circle.  Just to catch the secret inner moments, the behind the scenes.  You see, I'm insecure but tenacious.  I serve and help and clean and just keep hanging around until everyone leaves.

Being a teachers pet usually has some negative connotations.  "Brown noser", "suck up";  I felt the stigma when I was young but I much preferred the company of my teachers and other adults.  I'm sure I enjoyed some preferential treatment but honestly I was just trying to survive by not having to interact with my peers.  As I got to high school my tried and true teachers pet role was no longer available.  Other people were already in the inner circle and there was no room for me.

As I read the parable it occurred to me that it is good and right to want to sit at the feet of Jesus.  To want to be a part of His inner circle.  To be where He is and listen.  I want to strive to be in His inner circle without questions of rank or importance.  The inner circle isn't a privileged class to fill our chests with pride.  It is a necessary place to be if we want to understand.  In this moment I feel like I am in the inner circle.  My earnest desire to be near Him has drawn me close.  I am sitting on the edge of the firelight and listening to my Savior explain, and it is a glorious feeling.

Forgotten Beauty

Have you ever had moments where you were certain God was trying to gently teach you something by making sure you hear the same things from completely random sources?  My friends and I have started a Bible Study called "Looking for Lovely" by Annie Downs.  The focus of this Study is learning to choose and seek out the good and lovely things.  We chose this study for two reasons.  This world is full of ugliness and we wanted to practice the discipline we worked on in 'Me, Myself and Lies'.  The lessons from this week and from the book I had been reading (Heaven by Randy Alcorn) have been focusing my mind on a specific area that it seems God wants me to learn.

As we were wrapping up our gathering, God brought my eye to the things I have in my house.  Paintings, pictures, knickknacks.  I have had such a strong desire to purge in the last few months but when I looked around last night, God prompted me with a question.  Why do you have all this stuff?  The answer He gave me is still affecting me this morning.

Most of what we surround ourselves with in our home reminds us of the people we love and the people who love us.  But routine, stress and life causes us to forget.  We walk past them without looking...without seeing.  It occurred to me then that we do the same thing with God.  The ever present gifts of God become almost invisible as we walk past them without seeing.  The mountain is always there, the trees always sway, the sky always swirls.  The beauty of them is often lost because I don't look. I forget what they mean and what they say.

No matter what is going on in my life, I can choose to pay attention to the hard and ugly things or the good and lovely things.

There have certainly been times when I knew I had to surround myself in God's beautiful creation because I had nothing else I felt I could praise Him for.  I sat in the mountains and, in various stages of bitterness and tears, thanked God for every little thing I could lay my eyes on.  It felt false and inadequate but I look back now and see it as the training I needed to persevere.  I see now that I had to train myself to see the wonder of what God has done.  It's so easy to forget, too easy to turn our eyes away from Him.

So today, my eyes are being drawn to those wonderful, beautiful, precious reminders of the people I love and who love me, past and present, and to my great, amazing and beautiful God who loves me!

Hectic life

We realized fairly late we were running out of time very quickly.  The last week and some before the Con was a mad dash to get props and costumes done.  The collar is EVA foam and card stock.

We attached it to the cloth harness with velcro.

This did not last the day at the Con.  If I redo it, I will have to make a ridged harness.










 The chest armor I cut out of a template first and then cut it out of EVA foam.  The cones were made from craft foam.







I added the accents with craft foam, gap fill foam, pool noodles and craft gems.  I get delight out of using what I have at hand to "make it work" as Tim Gunn would say.








This was then coated with Plasti-dip.




The final product was painted with acrylic gold paint and we again attached it with velcro.  This had limited success during the rigors of con.  While my brazier never fell off, it came close.  I'll have to think of a better plan.

I bleed on this project to be sure but was once again pleased to play with found objects.  Shower curtain rings, dollar store ball, jewelry bail, pool noodles and paper.  My husband is a wiz with Pepekura.  I once again started with a base coat of Plasti-dip and then used a combo of acrylic paint, washi tape and paint pen.  

 It looked great and held up fairly well at the con but I got my head piece caught in the chain at least three times and the plastic ball expanded and contracted in the heat which caused the paint to crack on the drive home.

We got a lot of attention at the con.  We couldn't go more than a few steps without being stopped for pictures.  It was a unique experience to be sure.  In fact, Jason David Frank took our picture while we were getting our picture with him and posted it to his fan page.  It was a humbling experience.  My hubby's Lord Zedd had more problems at the con than we would have liked but we also had the least amount of time to figure things out.  Early failures and new materials/skill set made for a challenging deadline.  It still looked good in the pictures but if we do it again we're going to have to rethink quite a few things.  Almost all of our props and costume pieces need to be repaired or reworked.  My Gracie Law headdress didn't survive a second year either.  I'm going to have to redo all the feathers because of the fall out from this year.  We learned a lot this year and we stepped up our game.  We'll keep getting better.

Costume Update 2016 - mostly Rita Repulsa

This last week is going to be a mad whirl of finishing up costume pieces.  On that note I wanted to share the progress on some of our pieces.

I got the black fabric attached to the foam head piece and added the wrap around.





I then glued on the red gems and used gold fabric paint to add the accents along the band.

I then added the hanging straps and sewed them in.  I added some hook and eyes and wrapped some spare fabric from the dress around the hair.  My next big hurtle is the collar and chest piece.  The collar changed over the years so I have to pick a style and figure out how to accomplish it.





 Zedd's helmet is painted and other than some experiments we're conducting with plastidip, it's finished

Rita's staff has a base coat and needs some accents.  The plan is to experiment with gold washi tape and a paint pen.

The experiments we've been attempting with Zedd's exoskeleton have been less than successful.  We were working with what we had and using techniques we've never tried before so it was probably not the best plan to wait so long to start in earnest.

My basement is a wreck of thread, fabric and foam right now but this happens every year.  All in all, Rita's in pretty good shape.  Zedd really just needs figuring out what will work and then it should proceed quickly.

How to "How to" cosplay

Let me begin by saying I am not a professional cosplayer.  That's not what this blog is about.  I will not show you tutorials on intricate and skillful works of art that you wear.  I have an "every man's" perspective on cosplay.  So, for the regular Joe, this is for you.

I have been asked many times over the years to help people get started with costumes.  Most people don't wear them on a regular basis. (I know, weird right?)  That overwhelming sense of not knowing where to start is intimidating.  So I have been thinking of how to condense the getting started of cosplay to take the fear out and start on the path.  That means its LIST TIME!!!!!

• Figure out what you want to be
• For some people this step is easy.  For others, the plethora of choices can be paralyzing.  So here's me sub-list (arrrgh):
• How comfortable are you with your body?  (I'm a conservative, large, Christian woman so I will never dress in skin tight spandex but I've seen large, bearded men wear that look so...whatever works for you)
• How close of a copy do you want to make?  Choosing a character that has some similarities to you gives you a natural base to build on but it isn't necessary. Don't forget to consider that the more intricate the costume, the more time and money it will probably take.
• Do you love a specific character?  Some people dress as something because it's popular, some people dress as something because they grew up reading the comic/watching the cartoon and some people think long and hard about what is both obscure and recognizable so that they will be one of a few in 100's of thousands just so they get their picture taken a lot.  (If this is your thing then don't dress as the newest release movie, avoid joker and harley quinn and DO NOT dress as Deadpool....never dress as deadpool.)  You might even consider mashups.  This might be a stretch your first time out but look up taco belle cosplay or cookie monster storm trooper.  Gender bending a character or mashing it up with something clever or unusual can be awesome.  
• Do you have the skills or the finances to accomplish the look to your satisfaction?  
• You can use cardboard boxes if you want to, if you have the skills you can even make that look good, but it's one of many options.  Think about your expectations.  You will probably not be able to accomplish the look a professional has managed after a year or mores work, but you can produce something you're happy with.
• Don't forget to think about comfort and access
• Sure your character may wear 1.5" high stilettos but you will not last a con day in those.  Either prepare to have slippers to take a break in or face the consequences.  I once walked barefoot on a con floor most of the day because I didn't prepare.
• Think about the comfort of your costume.  Corsets and bulky armor may look cool but practical they are not.  It takes a great deal of negotiation to sit in a panel in some costumes.  Don't forget that, at some point, you may need to use the facilities....how are you going to get the necessaries free to use said receptacle?
• Hard to see through visors, small breathing holes, bulky layers that add to heat and "wide load" costumes need to be viewed in light of the fact that you will be in a fairly restricted space with 150,000 of your closest friends.  You can still attempt those costumes but don't expect those to be the "see the con" days.  Plan plenty of water breaks, ventilation and rest.  Professional cosplayers do not spend the entire day of a con in their costume.  
• How much do you want to spend?
• Some costumes have very intricate pieces.  The easiest course is to buy what you need.  The funnest, and most frustrating, in my opinion is to make it.  That means anything from altering found objects from the thrift store to buying expensive professional materials to make it.  In the beginning it will also take practice which will inevitably cost precious time and materials.  Set a budget and give yourself plenty of time to troll multiple thrift stores and online prices.  
• How much time do you have?
• If you have given yourself a month or less...Don't set your expectations too high.  Remember this is just for fun.
• If you have 6 months or more, don't waste it. Crafting a costume takes time.
• Make a list of what you need
• I always do a break down of the costume.  This helps me figure out what needs to be done so I don't get lost or overwhelmed.  List everything.  Socks, shoes/footwear, special undergarments, morph suits, capes, jewelry, wigs, crown/hat, sashes.  This forces you to focus on the tiny details and makes sure you aren't missing something vital at the last minute.
• Figure out what the iconic things are about that character,  What do you have to have.  
• Figure out which version you like the best (if it's a comic book character it's been through multiple costume changes in all likelihood) and then look at all the pieces you will need to construct, purchase or find.   
• Look up photo references from as many angles as you can.  If you can find a tutorial then awesome but most people don't like giving away their secrets for free.
• Choose a specific piece to start on
• I always prioritize by what I need the most time to accomplish.  This usually means I'm learning a new skill or have to figure out how to accomplish a specific look.  Pinterest is where I start but YouTube also has a great collection of tutorials.  From them I figure out what that awesome cosplayer used and then look at the cost of the materials.  We don't spend a lot on our costumes but even we are getting more interest by the year in worbla and EVA foam.  (Don't freak out if you don't know what those are)
• If you are starting off with special skills like 3D modeling or sewing, Great!  If you aren't, No Problem!  People who have a certain skill are likely to keep visiting that wheelhouse to work the problem whether it's the best solution or not.  Whether you have special skills or not, imagination and grace will be your biggest assets.
• Be patient and work the problem
• If you don't know what the word/material/skill is that someone has used...ask.  
• Ask the internet, ask the speaker, ask a friend.  No one knows in the beginning.  Don't feel dumb or ignorant especially if it keeps you silent when the knowledge is there for the taking.  Every job/skill has a specific set of lingo and insider terms associated with it from janitor to president.  Don't let the lingo intimidate you.
• Don't drown in the knowledge
• There is no one way to make something. There is a lot of information out there.  Don't get discouraged.  Find the way that works for you and then give it a try.  I have learned more at the convention after my costume is built than I did making it.  Sometimes you won't know what to look for before you see it in person or sit in a costume/cosplay panel or stand next to someone in line.
• Here is a short list of what I have found are the most common tools
• Pepakura (This is a tool that lets you take a 3D file, flatten it on a piece of paper to print and then cut out and glue back together into a 3D shape.  This is my hubby's go to.  There are also free online resources for the 3D files. It's not a guarantee but it can still be useful even if you can't make your own 3D file.  This does have a learning curve)  
• 3D Printing (Many libraries have 3D printers now.  As long as you have a 3D model, you can get 3D shapes printed for fairly cheep)
• Worbla (these are plastic sheets that can be heated and molded into shape.  It is used a lot in armor)
• EVA Foam (people mold, carve, shave and glue this high density foam into the coolest shapes.)
• Found object (Not everyone has the ability to turn a toaster into a pulse rifle but people make some amazing stuff out of the weirdest things.  Just sayin'.)
• Sewing (If you're making your own costume it is likely you will have to use a sewing machine.  If you can't, find a friend or hire a seamstress.  From body suits to intricate ball gowns, it is a skill that can not be overlooked)

 I hope that get's you started!  Ask away!  I can't wait to see what you make!