Friday, October 17, 2014

I'm a wimp

I couldn't do it folks.  I couldn't tell the ministry that I needed to quit.  I psyched myself up all the way there and then just had too much work to do and so little time to give them.  I felt so guilty and the harder I worked the more I became convinced I couldn't tell them I had to back down.  I talked to my grandma the next day, who also volunteers there, and she agreed I couldn't quit.  They needed me too much.  I just needed to set better boundaries.  That's probably true.

I'm a minion

Minions don't get to say no.  Minions obey.  
The people I volunteer for would would be upset to hear me say that but I don't use this an an insult.  I like obeying.  None of them want to abuse me.  How do you set boundaries when at your core you believe you should just obey any slight request.  I'm struggling with that, but I have to figure it out or I'm going to have to leave people and organizations that are benefiting from having a minion.  Everyone tells me to just say no but it's not easy for me.  I like helping, people like me helping, why would I say no to that win/win situation just because my body hates me?   I know, I know...

So, diet.  We're at a stand still.  Maybe this next month we need to avoid any "supplement" based systems and just continue with a strict diet and exercise thing.  Not sure what to try next.  Being busy makes it harder to think about being prepared for food and fitting in exercise.  This is where prioritizing and boundaries would be helpful if I could actually do it.    

So, Prayer Warriors.  How are you doing?  Developed a routine that works for you?  What helps you maintain discipline.  I started making my list and was surprised by the number of people I had forgotten to be praying for.  While I was writing this another name popped into my head and I had to pause to write it down.  I'm still not in a rhythm yet.  Working on it.  

This has been a busy week and today I finally see the neurologist.  I'm a little concerned he wanted to see me after the MRI but not really worried.  We'll see what's up shortly and I'll let you know.  

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