Stress Progress

Whether you're dealing with a plethora of first world problems or just a few, stress is a problem for most people.  It's linked to all kinds of health issues and generally sucks the joy of life right out the window in my experience. Part of getting a "God checkup" every so often (you know, the search my heart and see if there be any unclean way in me/what are you wanting me to learn/where are my strongholds of sin/which battle am I gearing up for, thing) for me has always included some regret that there are certain areas that I seem to always struggle with.  I know, I know.  I haven't reached the finish line yet...there is no perfection on this earth.  For a long time I couldn't see (or didn't recognize) progress in any area of my life.  Now, God has graciously and kindly shown me some areas that have definite growth and all praise and glory goes to Him on that.

Our house is a little old.  Home ownership has a lot of stresses when it comes to repair and maintenance.  Our first home was a new build and while we didn't live there long enough for maintenance issues we did struggle with a sea of mice and black widows that were displaced from the empty lot behind us when new construction began.  Our second home had black mold and many other issues but when we got one of the estimates for repairing the mold problem I had my first TMJ attack from my jaw stress clenching.  Lack of money or lack of expertise can lead to paralyzing indecision.  My husband and I are not handy people.  Repairing a fence, putting in a water heater, replacing a sump pump....we've done those things...but not well.  We've had some pretty major expenses for our current house.  This week I got a quote for over $19,000 for a repair along with several other thousand dollar repair jobs that need to happen.  It should have been stressful....and I'm pretty sure I'm not stressed about it.  (My body and I don't communicate well so I sometimes don't know when the reactions I'm having are stress related)

Here's the thing, God is using these potential stressers as a test, not for His amusement but for me.  You see, God has been doing a lot but the two I'm going to focus on right now are the long term work and the short term work.

1. I've been struggling with weight and ever increasing headaches and migraines.  I've tried a lot of things (see previous blog posts) and didn't really believe this "new thing to try" would make any difference.  With reservation I entered into an intention to prepare Whole 30 every day for a month (I didn't think I could give up dairy)  I can say I've lost a little weight but the biggest difference is the decrease in headaches and I haven't had a migraine in weeks.  This is a HUGE deal.  I had a 4 day migraine not too long ago.  I've also had enough energy to get more tasks done which helps my overall mental health.  
2. I've noticed I hold onto house and money stress much less than I used too.  I have the resources and calm to do what I can to research and make the best decision available.  10, 15 years ago....that was not me.  I'd call my dad. I'd stress out about who to even call for a specific issue. I'd stress about how much it cost and I'd often wait until the problem was worse and it forced me into action.  

Without these situations, and a few spiritual prompts to look, I wouldn't have noticed God had been succeeding in teaching me how to give up worry and stress.  While it's never fun to be out thousands of dollars, I can honestly say I'm bubbling with joy.  It's inexplicable, it's miraculous, it's God!

I've got a minion problems and worry ain't one

I listened to a lot of Patch the Pirate when I was young.  Don't worry if you don't know who that is.  The important thing is that I learned some valuable life lessons from these programs during my formative years.  One such lesson was that I was a worrier and I needed to stop.  I come by it honestly to be sure and the struggles my parents are having with worry have made me take a look at myself and realize to my astonishment that the Lord has been working on me in that area.  I'm not worry free, but I have gained some skills, thanks to the Lord, in how to deal with it in a healthy way.  You see, I looked at my dad a couple of weeks ago and told him he really needed to stop worrying and he looked straight back at me and said "It's not like a light switch I can turn off".  Nobody wants to worry.  It's an awful feeling and has been proven to adversely affect our health.  I remember feeling that exact same way though.  If I could have found the switch I would have turned it off too.  So what happened that helped me find the switch?  We'll get to that, but first...you should listen to the song that inspired me when I was young...and still does.

   Worry Warthog

I worry *snort, snort* worry *snort, snort* all my time away.... ah, memories.  Now on to business.

Because worry is a common problem, it is important to address it as a minion for many reasons.  Worry can rob us of the stamina necessary for ministry work because it's exhausting and there is too much to be done to waste it worrying.  It's crippling and imprisoning.  It steals our creativity and our joy.  But how do you stop doing it?

My Bible Study group knew we wanted to study HOW to take our thoughts captive.  We know the Bible says to do it but HOW?  So we started to look for material that would help us practice and learn how to ...

2 Corinthians 10:5New International Version (NIV)

5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

What we found was this: 

 by Jennifer Rothschild

I can't tell you how often me and my ladies have brought up what we learned from this study or how profoundly it affected us.  Don't get me wrong, this isn't an advertisement .  We found woefully few studies focused on the how to's of "don't worry", and "take every thought captive".  This study was about our destructive inner monologues.

It's true that my inner monologue was and is full of negative self talk.  How about yours?  Go ahead and think about it, I'll wait......that's what I thought.  Don't worry, you're not alone.  

As I was listening to the book of Matthew today Jesus said 

“Do you not yet realize that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then is eliminated? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man. 

Matthew 15:17-18

There is a list of things in the following verses given as examples of what defiles a person including evil thoughts, slander and false testimony.  I used to think that was all spewing from the heart into the world but I failed to realize that our hearts and minds are in concert in this area.  What we believe about ourselves informs how we interact with the world.  Proverbs 12 tells us that, “As a man thinks, so is he.”

Rothschild reminded us that chopping off the root of the lies that we tell ourselves is vital to a practical working out of 2 Cor 10:5.  It doesn't take the enemy a lot of effort to use the lies we are already used to telling ourselves.  They are comfortable and familiar.  It takes effort and attention to listen to what's going on in our headspace, figure out the root of the lie and replace it with truth.  

When I was younger, I tried quoting verses or thinking about something Philippians 4:8 approved.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

It felt like a stop gap and never really worked.  Perhaps it was the vanity of youth or perhaps it just wasn't enough.  For me, what has worked is knowing and identifying the falsehood, the lie that is driving not only the negative behavior but the negative thoughts in my head.  If I fill my head with scripture on top of my wrong assumption I am more likely to try and fit what God has said into the context of what I already believe.  If I deal with the lie first, then replace it with God's truth, I have a clean space.  It's a release.  Letting go of the lie isn't always easy.  We've told some of them to ourselves for most of our lives.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between the healthy and the destructive.  It is a deeply personal journey and is bound to have some false starts.  

Like I said, it takes work and perseverance. Recognize the lie, refuse it and then replace it with the truth.  Sure it sounds simple but it's anything but.  I can tell you with absolute certainty that it's worth the effort.